


Of Film & Paper

by chocolateghost



Category: A Song of Ice and Fire & Related Fandoms, A Song of Ice and Fire - George R. R. Martin, Game of Thrones (TV)
Genre: Also this is hella funny if I do say so myself, Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Alternate Universe - Office, Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, Documentaries, F/M, Fluff, Friends to Lovers, Jon is a sad emo pupper, Love Triangles, Mutual Pining, R Plus L Does Not Equal J, Sansa is thirsty AF, Slow Burn, The Office AU, ridiculous workplace banter
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-09-10
Updated: 2018-10-29
Packaged: 2019-07-08 07:36:39
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 5
Words: 26,883
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15925841
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/chocolateghost/pseuds/chocolateghost
Summary: "Umber Mooton, this is Sansa."When a camera crew starts filming a documentary of everyday life in the Wintertown branch of a mid-level paper company, they accidentally stumble upon a budding office romance between two coworkers.Jon and Sansa are Jim and Pam in this fusion of GOT/ASOIAF and The Office.





	1. The Film Crew/Diversity Day

**Author's Note:**

  * For [asongforjonsa](https://archiveofourown.org/users/asongforjonsa/gifts), [patritxi](https://archiveofourown.org/users/patritxi/gifts), [uchiha_s](https://archiveofourown.org/users/uchiha_s/gifts), [Kit_Kat21](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Kit_Kat21/gifts), [Sansa_Of_Oldstones](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Sansa_Of_Oldstones/gifts), [Melissa_Alexander](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Melissa_Alexander/gifts), [Phxreign](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Phxreign/gifts).



> Ok folks, buckle in for a fun one! Jonsa Office AU! When I first got hooked on The Office back in the heyday of the show, I immediately devoured any and all Jim and Pam fics. I never wrote any, but I always considered it and it has always been a thought in the back of my mind. So this fic is going to be a kind of love letter to my past, bridging my current OTP with my first OTP. 
> 
> You don't need to have watched an episode of The Office in order to read this fic, but if you haven't, WHAT THE HELL HAVE YOU BEEN DOING WITH YOUR LIFE???? Seriously though, it's cool. You're fine. Maybe you'll be inclined to check it out. Obviously, I highly recommend it.
> 
> I've tried to translate The Office characters to ASOIAF as best I could, but some may wind up being cut. As this will be primarily Jonsa focused, all other characters will be relegated to the background. Each chapter will take place during a different episode of the show, but don't expect everything here to follow the source material too closely. I'll be forging my own path as I work my way through Jim and Pam's storyline for Jon and Sansa.
> 
> Gifting to a number of wonderful people that have been very enthusiastic and supportive of this idea. In fact, I'm feeling hella generous. So anyone that wants me to gift this to them, just let me know in the comments and I will add you to the list! ❤️❤️❤️
> 
> Just fyi, what follows is a quick character breakdown. Keep in mind this is not a full list and more will be added later as the fic progresses.
> 
> Jim - Jon  
> Pam - Sansa  
> Michael - Robert B.  
> Dwight - Theon  
> Ryan - Satin  
> Jan - Cersei  
> Angela - Jeyne P.  
> Oscar - Oberyn  
> Kevin - Hodor  
> Meredith - Thoros  
> Creed - Melisandre  
> Stanley - Stannis  
> Phyllis - "Fat" Walda  
> Kelly - Margaery  
> Toby - Rhaegar (def not Jon's dad)
> 
> Without further ado, enjoy! :)

“Do you really think this is a good idea, David?” Tim asked incredulously. “I mean, a paper company? Who gives a shit about paper in this day and age? Also, why the hell is it so damn hot in this room? Is the air conditioning even working?”

 

Most of the team around the table nodded in agreement. As for why, David didn’t exactly know. Ever since his documentary team had found great success filming an office in Essos, he’d been trying to replicate it in Westeros as well to little interest. They just haven't been able to find an office worthy of filming. But that had all changed when David got a response from the manager of a paper company in Wintertown.

 

“Well you better enjoy this heat while you can because if we go through with this project you’re gonna be freezing your ass off in no time,” Gareth added.

 

“Tim’s right though, it’s just a boring office,” Dawn stated, taking a sip of her iced coffee. “There’s nothing interesting about that. How can we possibly make a good documentary about this place? What’s even the point?”

 

David was determined to make them understand. “Well that’s part of the intrigue, isn’t it? How is this paper company surviving in today’s paperless world? You know, philosophy and all that. Besides, have you seen some of these initial interviews from the employees? I think we've stumbled upon a potential gold mine here. Gareth, cue up a few. Show them what we saw there.”

 

“You got it boss.” The skinny man fiddled with the computer till a series of rough talking heads played on the screen before the team. The first one featured a rather large looking man with a big thick black beard. He appeared to be sweating through his suit. David’s voice came from off screen.

 

**_“Ok for this, just tell us your name, job title, and a little bit about yourself or what you do here in the office. Think you can manage that?”_ **

 

**_“HAHAHA YES! I see what you did there! Management joke... Alright, hello hello Robert Baratheon here, but my friends all call me Bobby B so feel free to do the same. I am the regional Manager of the Wintertown branch of Umber Mooton Paper Company. Named for the two ancient noble houses that cut down the most trees in all of Westeros. Or uh, something like that... Anyway, I’m kind of like the king around here and all my loyal subjects work tirelessly to heed my every command. We do good honest work here at Umber Mooton. Paper really is an amazing invention. You can write on it and… uh, make paper airplanes and other stuff. It’s great. I love it. Our is the best… By any chance, have you guys talked to Rhaegar at all yet? Ok good, let me save you the trouble then. Don’t. He’s the worst.”_ **

 

The video then cut to a younger, leaner man in a mustard yellow short sleeve dress shirt looking simultaneously serious and smarmy.

 

**_“Theon Greyjoy. Top salesman and Assistant to the Regional Manager of Umber Mooton. I’m Robert’s number 2 in the office. Kind of like his hand of the king, if you will. I am very good at my job. And loyal, I can’t stress that enough. Loyalty is maybe the best of my many amazing traits. Also modesty. I come from a long line of seafarers so I definitely have what it takes to help sail this company to excellence.”_ **

 

David saw Tim and Dawn share a look as the video cut to another young man. This one with floppy raven curls and a scruffy beard. He looked extremely bored.

 

**_“Jon Snow. Sales. My job is to speak to clients on the phone about... quantities and type of copier paper. You know, whether we can supply it to them. And whether they can... pay for it. Wow, I’m boring myself just talking about it. Yikes...”_ **

 

“Oh, he’s cute!” Dawn exclaimed to the confusion of the rest of the team. She looked around, embarrassed. “Sorry, but he is!” The video cut again to a young, tired looking woman with red hair and bright blue eyes.

 

 **_“Sansa Stark. Receptionist. Basically I just answer phones all day. Oh, and make copies. My_ ** **_fiancé_** ** _, Harry, works down in the warehouse. That’s kind of how I got this job. It’s ok. I just, I don’t think many little girls dream of being a receptionist. What I really love to do is illustrations! Mostly watercolor, some oil pencil… Jon says they’re really good.”_ **

 

The next interviews came fast, one after another.

 

**_“Stannis Baratheon. Senior salesman. Yes, Robert is my brother and no, I do not call him Bobby B. Nor will I ever. I should have been regional manager. I had the best numbers, but I was stepped over. So now I’m just sitting here waiting to either retire or die. Whichever comes first. I don’t care.”_ **

 

**_“Melisandre. Quality Assurance. I make sure all Umber Mooton products live up to the standard set by the Lord of Light. Are either of you followers of the great R’hllor? No? Well then look to your sins, film crew, for the night is dark and full of terrors.”_ **

 

**_“I’m Hodor. I’m in accounting... I’m Hodor.”_ **

 

**_“Margaery Tyrell. Customer Service. I’m like really really good at my job because I LOVE talking to people. And I love fashion and looking good and boys are so silly and omg speaking of, have you seen the new temp? Talk about a dreamboat! I would just die to go out with him and we could eat and drink and I could wear a pretty dress. And then we could maybe go back to his place and talk and kiss and f-”_ **

 

**_“Umm, my name is Satin. I’m just a temp. I don’t even really work here so I don’t think I should be included in whatever this is.”_ **

 

**_“Oberyn Martell. Accounting. I enjoy the finer things in life. Be it a good book, or a delicious wine, or a beautiful woman. Maybe even a beautiful man... Please don’t tell Robert though. He’s already weird enough around me as is.”_ **

 

**_Walda Frey. Sales. I really like it here for the most part. My coworkers are really nice… Well most of them. Robert calls me Fat Walda sometimes. It doesn’t really bother me though. I mean, I know I’m a large woman, there ain’t no shame in my game. Plus I have a pretty great boyfriend and he loves to worship all my curves, if you know what I mean…”_ **

 

**_“Jeyne Poole. Accounting. I love God, sewing, cats, and cleanliness. I’ve been called judgmental more than a few times in my life, but it doesn’t bother me. I know where I’ll be going after I die. Do any of you?”_ **

 

**_“Thoros. Supplier relations. Honestly, I’m not really sure what I do all day. I just kind of do it, ya know? Hey, you guys want to go get a drink after this?”_ **

 

**_“Rhaegar Targaryen. Human Resources. It’s pretty self-explanatory really. In my free time I like to read and play my harp... Wait, Robert said what?”_ **

 

“Ok, that’s enough, Gareth. So, what do you all think?” David asked his team excitedly. They all looked at each other.

 

“Well David, you definitely found an interesting group of people there,” Keith said.

 

“And that’s not even all of them!” David cut in. “There’s more, an entire warehouse full! And not to mention Robert’s boss, Cersei. She yelled at Gareth and I to get the hell out of her way. It was quite frightening really.”

 

Tim tilted his head back and forth in contemplation. “I’m certainly intrigued. The manager seems like a nut. And half of the rest do too. What the hell was that red woman talking about? Anybody else a bit freaked out by her?”

 

“I’m telling you, that Jon has major hottie potential,” Dawn waxed to no one in particular. “Did you see those lips?”

 

Gareth piped in. “That Greyjoy lad offered to take me out on his boat. _The Kraken_ he called it. He was extremely persistent, almost got me out there with him. I can see why he’s the top salesman.”

 

David reeled the team back in. “Ok so it looks like they have your attention, right? That’s an excellent sign. I think if our target audience doesn’t really care about the existential crisis of a paper company in the modern world, they’ll definitely tune in to watch the employees. So many big personalities in this office, they’re bound to do something worth filming. Word of mouth will spread. We can find a storyline here somewhere, I know it. I say let’s go through with production. If we don’t have anything good after a couple weeks, we can scrap it. What do you say? Everybody in agreement?”

 

*******

 

“Yeah no problem, sir. I’ll talk to you soon. Don’t forget about me, Mr. Flint!”

 

Jon placed his phone back on the receiver and let out a frustrated sigh. His day was not going the way he thought it would. Since Robert had unwittingly offended the entire office earlier in the week, they’d all been stuck in corporate-mandated sensitivity training the whole day. Today was supposed to be the day Jon would renew his biggest account. The one that would make him 25% of his commision for the entire year. The one he had a tiny bottle of champagne waiting in his desk for. But now thanks to Robert, he’s been having to play phone tag all day and decidedly _not_ making any money.

 

It’s almost funny just how much Jon cares about this sale because if he’s being honest, he hates his job more than anything. Growing up, he had never envisioned himself working in a place like this. He’d always wanted to be a knight and rescue princesses and slay dragons like all his favorite stories. Too bad there isn’t much call for that in the modern world. After graduating from university and not having a clue where to start, Jon did what most people do - find a job. Working at Umber Mooton had just been something he’d planned on doing until he figured out what the hell it was that he really wanted to do. That was almost four years ago now.

 

Looking back, Jon can remember how bright-eyed and bushy-tailed he’d been to start his big fancy office job. Now he wishes he’d never even come in for an interview. Spending five days a week hawking paper to uncaring clients is absolutely soul-sucking, but Jon rationalizes that it pays the bills. And since he unfortunately lives in a society where he needs money to live, he has no choice but to keep his job. No matter how much he hates it.

 

Other than the paycheck chaining him to the office, there is literally only one thing keeping him going throughout the day. More like one person...

 

“Umber Mooton, this is Sansa.” Her voice rang out like a bell in his ear and Jon couldn’t help but turn to look at her. She caught his eye and her face immediately lit up, giving him a small smile that he happily returned.

 

He would never admit it to anyone, but Jon’s been half in love with Sansa since the first day he laid eyes on her. He’s always had a thing for redheads and she absolutely takes the cake. Beautiful auburn hair like spun fire, contrasting nicely with her creamy porcelain skin and crystal blue eyes. She’s positively gorgeous, but Jon swears it’s like she’s trying to hide it. She’s always put together, but never in a way to show-off. She normally wears such plain office attire - shirts, cardigans, skirts, and pumps or blindingly white shoes. Her hair is almost always up in a clip or braid. Just once, Jon would love to see it down, flowing around her shoulders in soft waves. He figures that maybe she just doesn’t want to attract too much attention to herself. But really, it’s too late for that because Jon is already hook, line, and sinker.

 

Sansa’s not just a pretty face, she has so much more than just physical beauty. She’s incredibly kind and funny, not to mention exceptionally talented. Over the years, Jon’s tried hard to encourage her to follow her dreams. Sansa always talks about wanting to be an artist and draw illustrations in children’s books or paint a masterpiece. But whenever he tries to show her support, she mostly just blushes and changes the subject.

 

Almost every single day for nearly four years Jon has worked side by side with Sansa, become best friends with her, and fallen more and more in love with her. Under any other circumstances, their relationship would be the perfect scenario for romance. Instead, it’s stuck in neutral because Sansa is engaged to be married to another man. And of all people, it had to be someone Jon is forced to see on a regular basis.

 

According to Sansa, she and her fiancé, Harry, had been high school sweethearts. Harry had almost immediately gone to work in the Umber Mooton warehouse after having not been accepted to any university. Period. Supposedly unable to bear being apart from him, Sansa dropped out of college and moved back home. The two got engaged, moved in together, and she took the receptionist job in the office to help make ends meet. They’d planned to marry in a year’s time, but the months went by and they kept postponing the wedding until eventually they just put it on indefinite hiatus. And that is the situation Sansa and Harry are currently in, still engaged, but no wedding in sight.

 

Being around her can be maddening sometimes. Jon really just wants her to be happy and yet, it seems more and more lately that she's not. She complains about Harry to him all the time. There have been moments where Jon could have sworn that Sansa felt something for him, something close to the way he feels about her. But then those moments pass and she went home to Harry and the cycle continued. Jon would love nothing more than to just tell her how he really feels about her, but deep down he knows that that is something he can never do. He doesn’t want to be a homewrecker, no matter how much seeing her with him just might kill him.

 

Spacing out and still staring at Sansa behind her wall of a desk, Jon saw one of the cameras watching from the corner of his eye. He quickly averted his gaze and attempted to focus on his computer instead.

 

_Need to be more careful about that._

 

It’s been about two weeks since the documentary crew had started shooting and by some kind of miracle they were still coming in the office and filming every day. It didn’t really make any sense to Jon. He can barely make it through a normal work day without wanting to fall asleep at his desk. Why in the world would anyone choose to watch a documentary on the subject for fun?

 

When they all signed on to be a part of the project, the employees of Umber Mooton were told that the film would aim to explore the plight of a paper company in an increasingly modern and paperless world. Unconvinced by that flimsy explanation, Jon and Sansa immediately started speculating through extensive email conversations to try to figure out the _true_ purpose of the documentary.

 

Besides what reason they were given, the only two likely explanations either of them could come up with were 1) the film is actually just a cover for a government conspiracy to expose the probable shady business dealings currently keeping Umber Mooton up and running. Or 2) Robert paid the film crew a ridiculous amount of money to film the office in an attempt to make him seem cooler. Either one seems more 100 times more believable than the "official" statement.

 

When filming began, all office workers were given strict instructions to act like the cameras weren’t there. “Just go about your business,” they said. “Keep calm and carry on.” That lasted about two seconds before Robert started hamming it up and the rest of the office followed suit. Even though it’s only been a couple weeks, Jon has surprisingly become very used to the presence of the film crew. If it weren’t for the fact that he had to be mic’d up every morning and was required to give daily interviews, he could almost forget the cameras were there. And that was a potentially dangerous thing for a man trying to hide his feelings for his engaged coworker.

 

_Need to do better. No more staring longingly. Or at least, no more getting caught._

 

“Aww, poor Jon. What’s wrong, bitty baby? Can’t close a sale-y wale-y?” Theon mocked him from his adjoining desk - another reason Jon did not like his job. “You’re pathetic, Snow. Leave the paper selling to the real salesmen.”

 

Catching the eye of a cameraman, Jon tilted his head and made a “what the fuck” face directly into the lens. Truthfully, he kept waiting for the film crew to pull him aside and tell him to stop looking into the camera so much, but so far it was like they didn’t care.

 

“You know what, Theon? You’re right, maybe I should just quit. I’m clearly not cut out for this fast-paced line of work. Maybe I’ll move out to White Harbor and become a ship captain instead.”

 

Theon’s eyes narrowed and the smile dripped off his face.

 

“That’s absurd, you could never make it as a ship captain. It takes a particular set of skills, all of which I have,” he emphasized by pounding on his chest. “Not to mention, a certain testicular fortitude-”

 

“...that you do not have.” Jon finished for him, smiling smugly.

 

“That is not funny, Jon! Millions of men suffer from testicular cancer every year and we keep losing more and more precious balls. We literally just got done with sensitivity training. How could you be so heartless?”

 

Jon shook his head at Theon. This particular coworker had been a thorn in his side since day one. For a moment at the start, Jon had actually thought that they maybe could have been friends. But Theon only managed to prove himself more and more annoying, constantly being personally offended by Jon’s easy ability to land a sale. Thus, a great rivalry was born. To Jon, the best part about Theon was that he was just so extremely easy to rile up. Over the years, pranking Theon has become one of Jon’s most favorite pastimes.

 

“Ok Kanye. First of all, I was making fun of you, not cancer victims. As far as I know, you have two balls...”

 

“It’s called empathy, Jon. Look it up.”

 

"...and second, do you think I could maybe borrow your stapler real quick? Please? I’m all out of staples.”

 

Theon sighed, pursing his lips. “I suppose so. But just this once. We have an entire supply closet chock-full of goodies, I suggest you familiarize yourself with it… Hey, where is my stapler? Ok, not on my desk, maybe in one of my draw-”

 

Theon slid open his bottom left desk drawer and froze, face turning a bright red.

 

“Dammit Jon!” He seethed through clenched teeth, banging his fist on his desk and drawing a few eyes from around the office. “You put my stuff in Jello again!?!?”

 

Lifting a plate up out of the drawer revealed a jiggling green Jello mold with Theon’s stapler inside it. Jon heard a soft giggle to his right and knew that Sansa was watching. That sweet sound meant that Jon coming in extra early this morning had been totally worth it.

 

“Whoa whoa whoa, you can’t prove that was me,” Jon denied, even as he couldn’t stop grinning.

 

“Yes I can, you’ve done this before. And you’re smiling! You’re all witnesses to this malfeasance!” Theon pointed to the camera crew as if he expected them to help him.

 

“That may be so, but what could I possibly stand to gain by repeating myself? It’s not very original and I’m nothing if not innovative. I think there may be a copycat afoot. You should consider starting an investigation. Maybe try dusting the Jell-O for fingerprints.”

 

For a moment it appeared that Theon was actually considering Jon’s ridiculous notion.

 

“I know it was you, Jon, and I’ll get you back for this. ROBERT!” Theon snapped to his feet and raced into their boss’ office.

 

“Seven Hells what is it now!” Jon heard Robert exclaim before Theon slammed the door behind him.

 

Feeling the need to celebrate his victory, Jon stood and walked leisurely to the only person he knew would join him in his revelry. Leaning his forearms on reception desk, he popped a jellybean in his mouth and did a little flourish with his hands.

 

“And that,” he paused for dramatic effect, “is how it’s done.”

 

“Perfectly executed, sir. How ever do you do it?” Sansa asked in mock awe.

 

“Ah, thank you thank you. Years of practice.” He popped another jellybean in his mouth. “What are you up to, Stark?”

 

“Freecell.”

 

He leaned over the counter to see her computer and spotted a match. “Six on seven.”

 

“I know. I’m saving that one.”

 

Jon gave her a curious look.

 

“I just,” she started, giving him a shy smile, “I like it when the cards go _fth fth fth fth_.”

 

“Fair enough. Who doesn’t love that?” He teased her, trying not to notice the way the awful fluorescent lighting glinted off the diamond in her ring.

 

Jon lost track of time, standing at her desk watching her dominate at solitaire. Without warning, Robert’s voice boomed out from behind him.

 

“Alright party people, who’s ready for more sensitivity training? Conference room, five minutes!”

 

The entire office groaned.

 

“Do we have to?” Oberyn sighed. “We already completed the corporate-mandated training. Some of us would like to actually do some work today.”

 

The rest of the office grumbled in agreement.

 

“Yes, you all have to. That guy was a joke. That corporate stooge didn’t teach you anything. I am your boss, I know you best. I should be the one guiding you on your journey to sensitivity and diversity.”

 

“You’re the reason we all had to take sensitivity training in the first place, Robert,” Stannis pointed out.

 

“Hey! Leave him alone,” Theon butt in. “We all know that Robert is extremely qualified to head this kind of training.”

 

Rhaegar scoffed at Theon’s words from the other side of the room.

 

“Oh you think that’s funny Rhaegar? I am your boss-”

 

“No, I answer to corporate. Not you.”

 

Robert’s barely concealed anger simmered under the surface. “Ok, well you know what? _This_ is a place of welcoming... and _you_ should just get the hell out. I’m serious. Goodbye.”

 

The rest of the office watched in silence as Rhaegar impassively backed out of the room, to his desk in the lonely annex.

 

“Alright!” Robert clapped his hands together and smiled once more. “Sensitivity! Conference room people, now!”

 

Jon made his way to his desk, thinking he could quickly call Mr. Flint once more before he would be stuck again. Robert caught him in the act.

 

“Come on Long Jon Silver, you too!”

 

“But I just need-”

 

“Nope, what you need to do is get your sweet, sweet ass in the conference room ASAP. You can work later.”

 

Taking one last longing look at his desk phone, Jon filed into the conference room with everyone else to sit through another one of Robert’s ridiculous meetings. For the entire duration, he sat with his leg bouncing, antsy to just get up and run to his phone. He felt like every second he wasn’t talking to Mr. Flint, was another brick in the wall separating him from his big sale. After an hour had passed, Jon was nearly at his wit’s end when he heard his desk phone ring. He jumped up and scrambled to answer it despite Robert’s protests.

 

He dove into his chair and ripped the phone off the receiver, talking fast. “Mr. Flint? It’s Jon. Sorry about that I was-”

 

“Jon, my boy, I was just calling to leave you a message. I’m sorry son, but I’m afraid we’re going to go with someone else.”

 

His heart started to sink. He tried to fix it. “I’m glad I caught you then. I promise that we at Umber Mooton can do better than any other company-”

 

“No, not a another company. Another salesman. He gave us a discount that we just couldn’t refuse.”

 

_Fuck. No..._

 

“A discount?”

 

“Oh yes, a hefty one at that. Make sure to thank Theon again for us, will you?”

 

_Are you kidding me? Fucking Theon? Seriously?_

 

“No, yeah. I umm, I’ll be sure to do that. Thank you for the courtesy call. And for your continued business. We really appreciate it. Take care,” he finished dejectedly, hanging up the phone and scrubbing his hands over his face.

 

_That motherfucker. Son of a bitch got me back alright. Took my sale right out from under me._

 

Jon opened his bottom drawer and eyed the little champagne bottle he'd been saving. He reached in and gingerly picked it up. He had so been looking forward to breaking it open and celebrating. Sighing, Jon stood on tired legs and placed the bottle right in the middle of Theon’s desk with a post-it note attached that read, **Well played** _._

 

Feeling upset and yet, not knowing what else to do, Jon slunk back into the conference room and slid into the empty seat next to Sansa at the back. His mind was a bizarre combination of numb and reeling as he contemplated the events of the day. He spaced out, just staring into nothing as Robert droned on about issues he definitely was not qualified to talk about.

 

Suddenly a warm weight dropped onto his right shoulder, pulling him back into focus. Surprised, Jon turned his head to see a curtain of auburn cascading down his shirt. Leaning forward slightly, he saw what appeared to be a sleeping Sansa. She looked beautiful, with just a ghost of a smile on her face.

 

In that moment, Jon couldn’t help himself. He closed his eyes and smiled, savoring the feeling of Sansa on his shoulder. He knew that the cameras were watching him, but right now he just didn’t care. After the day he’d had, this meant everything to him.

 

_This is the way it should be._

  

With Sansa dozing soundly on his shoulder, time moved slowly. Eventually the meeting ended and his fellow coworkers all left the conference room one by one. Reactions seemed to be mixed. Robert gave him a thumbs up. Jeyne rolled her eyes. Walda gave him a smile and a wink.

 

Once everyone had vacated the room, leaving just the two of them and the film crew, Jon knew he couldn’t keep Sansa there any longer. He hated to wake her when she was so peaceful, but all good things must come to an end.

 

“Hey,” he coaxed, moving his shoulder gently to try to rouse her from her light slumber.

 

Sansa stirred softly. Once she realized what had happened, she blushed and smiled shyly, tucking a strand of hair behind her ear. They both stood, Jon rubbing his hands on his khakis, suddenly very aware of how sweaty they were. Sansa left the room quickly, not looking back. But before Jon could follow, the crew grabbed him for a quick interview. They asked him about his bungled sale and all the craziness that occurred with Robert and then Sansa falling asleep on him. There was only one way he could describe it in words.

 

“Yeah,” he told the camera with a smile, “not a bad day.”

 

*******

 

“Do you see this?” Tim paused the tape on Jon’s smiling face, tie slightly askew and hair as floppy as ever. “This is it guys. This is fucking it. We’ve found the hook. This Jon/Sansa storyline, this is the angle we need. Sure Robert and Theon are crazy and the rest of the office has their moments, but this right here… this is the heart we need to sell this thing.”

 

“I’m right there with you,” David agreed. “Did I tell you this place was great or what?”

 

“Yeah but... Sansa is engaged guys,” Gareth said plainly.

 

“So? Are you really going to sit there and tell me you think she feels nothing? Look at this footage!” Tim emphasized, pointing at Jon’s face again. “Only two weeks and we’ve racked up reel after reel of the two of them making heart eyes at each other. And they don’t even fucking realize it! You can’t tell me that’s nothing, Gareth.”

 

“No no, I agree. These too are over the moon for each other. It’s written all over their faces.”

 

“So what, are we turning this into a real life love documentary? Paper Hearts: An Office Romance,” Dawn only half-joked. "Because I gotta tell ya, I like it."

 

David smiled at his team. They were finally all on board with him.

 

“Well I’m not ready to go that far just yet, but I like what I’m hearing and seeing. We have the crazy humor and we have the heartwarming secret office romance. Let’s continue with filming everything. Dive deeper. Look for more interesting relationships. Anything and everything! We’ll figure out a story in editing. For now, let’s just get as much as we can. Don’t miss a moment people! Fuck, did we hit the jackpot or what?”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Anybody catch what I did with the film crew behind the documentary? ;)
> 
> Also, don't worry about the crew becoming regular characters. They're just kind of there to help set things up. We'll probably see them again at some point. Maybe. I don't know. What? You think I've planned that far ahead?
> 
> Leave a comment and let me know if you enjoyed it! :)


	2. Health Care/The Alliance

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A BIG thank you to everyone who enjoyed the first chapter! This one is two episodes rolled into one. So double the fun! :)

“Umber Mooton, this is Sansa.”

 

She’s said that particular phrase so many times, the words have started to jumble and sound funny in her mouth. She could probably speak it backwards if need be. It’s gotten so bad, just the other night she’d had a dream where that was literally the only thing she could say. It had been a goddamn nightmare. For all she knew, this one might be the billionth time she’s spoken that sentence. Although if it truly had been, knowing this office, Robert would have probably jumped out of a cake with a balloon or something.

 

“Sansa, connect me to Robert.”

 

“Oh, hi Cers-”

 

“Now Sansa!” Her tone meant business and Sansa was not about to poke the lioness.

 

“Ok, just a second.”

 

Sansa made the transfer quickly, not wanting to agitate her superior any further. Cersei had been coming in from corporate and calling Robert a lot more often than usual. Through the network of Umber Mooton receptionists, rumors flew of possible restructuring and downsizing within the company. It was all a bit worrying (not that Sansa liked her job at all) but the fact that both she and her fiancé worked for the same company was potentially problematic. She had no idea what they would do if they were both laid off.

 

The transfer complete, she hung up her phone and glanced over at Jon who just so happened to be on his own phone talking to a customer. Sansa exhaled a breath as she watched him work his magic. For someone that hated his job, Jon was actually really good at it. Somehow he had this certain charm that he was able to turn on in these moments. It was almost like he became a different person. Through the years of watching him work, Sansa has picked up on all his little tells. She knew that Jon must be close to landing the sale because he had pushed his chair back and stretched his legs out.

 

Jon laughed as he talked, reaching his right arm up to scratch at the back of his head. His shirt pulled taut against his torso, outlining the muscles underneath and making Sansa feel a bit weak at the sight. Jon was 100% in his element. Not even truly realizing what she was doing, Sansa’s hand started absentmindedly sketching his form on the piece of paper in front of her.

 

There was no telling how many sketches of his profile she’d done in secret over the years. Sansa has kept a few good ones hidden in a folder at the bottom of her desk drawer. When she’s feeling particularly inspired, she’ll pull them out to admire her work. It’s her little secret.

 

_He has such a great smile. But then, he'll also do that thing where he gets all serious and his eyes squint and his jaw sets. He would make the best model. Not that I could ever tell him that._

 

A sting of guilt hit her as she thought about just how attractive Jon really was. Sansa knew she shouldn’t be thinking about that. They were friends, after all. _Best_ friends. But still, she couldn’t stop her mind from wandering to an all too familiar place as she worked to shade the scruff on his jaw.

 

_Friends can find other friends attractive. It’s perfectly normal. I can be engaged to another man and still find Jon handsome. That doesn’t have to mean anything. I can appreciate his good looks on a purely platonic and aesthetic level. Besides, Harry always points out women he thinks are hot. Why can’t I do the same for good-looking men? It’s only fair. Jon is a good-looking man and I am an artist. It’s perfectly reasonable to think that I might like to draw him. And if he was ever interested in doing any kind of modeling for an art class - fully clothed or in various states of undress - I would definitely sign up to draw him... Is that weird?_

 

Sansa became so absorbed with her sketch that she didn’t notice Jon end his call and happily jump up from his seat, until he cast his large shadow over her paper. Embarrassed and panicking, she scrambled to cover her sketch, lest he see it and call her out on it.

 

“Hey Stark,” he greeted her with a grin, leaning against her desk. It really was the perfect height for him. Sansa’s eyes immediately snapped to his forearms first. Jon always rolled his sleeves up in the office no matter what the weather was like outside. It was just one little thing she always looked forward to - her daily dose of toned forearm.

 

“H- Hi Jon,” she stammered out, face suddenly hot. “What’s up?”

 

“Oh you know, closed two sales, beat a game of solitaire, and added another copper to Theon’s phone. The usual.” Jon shrugged nonchalantly. “What’re you up to? Drawing something good? Can I see?”

 

He reached over the counter to try to playfully grab her paper, but she planted her hand firmly in place.

 

“No! It’s uh, it’s nothing really. Just a random doodle. I’m bored?”

 

_Wow really smooth. He totally knows. I’m the worst liar..._

 

Jon eyed her suspiciously, a hint of mischief in his features, but thankfully didn’t probe her any further.

 

“So what’s new with you in the… 45 minutes since we last talked? Watch any good shows recently?”

 

“No, I have a life,” she quipped.

 

He stepped back, clutching his chest. “Ouch. Right in the heart, Stark.”

 

Sansa gave him a cheesy grin, her tongue poking through her teeth just a bit. She loved their banter. It was one of her most favorite things about being friends with Jon. They could joke about anything and everything and it was always the most fun part of her day.

 

“I’m just saying, you should try it sometime. Get out and live a little, Jon. There’s a lot more to the world than your couch.”

 

“Yeah, but my couch is super comfy. Plus if I did go out, who’d watch my TV? I paid good money for that thing. Also, you’re one to talk Miss I-Go-Home-Every-Night-And-Draw-Till-I-Fall-Asleep.”

 

“Hey!” She feigned offence. “That’s too far, mister! I’ll have you know that I-”

 

“JON!” Robert yelled suddenly from his office, startling the both of them. “Can I see you in here for a minute?”

 

“Sure, Robert.” Jon flashed her a confused look and turn to head into their boss’s office. She watched him walk away, but when she felt a camera on her she quickly ducked her head back down to her desk.

 

Sansa always hated every time Robert called Jon into his office. She knew she was being silly - Jon was a good employee and Robert has always liked him - but she just couldn't help it. The thought of him being fired was just terrible. She didn’t want to imagine coming to work everyday without him. Jon was literally the only thing keeping her sane in the office.

 

She can remember a time at Umber Mooton before Jon, when the office was dull and lifeless. A time when she hated coming to work. But then, like a breath of fresh air, Jon had come into her life. Sansa can still remember the first time she saw him. He was so young then, clean-shaven and curls not nearly so long. He was all wide-eyed innocence and enthusiasm. She’d been instantly attracted to him and they had quickly become friends. She’d felt an immediate connection with him, almost like they were kindred spirits.

 

Jon has been an incredible part of her life in the years since. Someone to laugh with. Someone to complain to. Someone to provide unconditional support. It’s a good feeling to know you have someone on your side, especially in a crazy work environment like theirs. Jon really is a wonderful person and Sansa is so grateful that she has him in her life.

 

Although, she tries hard not to dwell on all that too much because the guilt that usually came along with it was unbearable. The idea that Jon, her friend, held such a special place in her heart that her fiancé did not, made her feel deeply ashamed. Because after all, shouldn’t Harry be the one that supported her? Shouldn’t Harry be the one making her days brighter? Shouldn’t Harry always be on her side?

 

_Yes! A million times yes!_

 

Sansa shook her head, refusing to acknowledge the unwelcome thoughts invading her mind. Instead she went back to working on her sketch of Jon’s profile. She filled in the gaps working purely from memory, her eyes flitting to Robert’s door every so often. Whatever it was that was happening seemed to be taking a long time. Eventually, Sansa sat her pen down and admired her finished sketch of Jon. It wasn’t perfect, but she felt that it definitely captured his essence.

 

Noticing another camera on her now, she hurriedly stuffed the sketch into her secret folder and stashed it away. At this point, Sansa was starting to get pretty good at knowing where the cameras were at all times. However, sometimes they could be sneaky. At first she hadn’t really minded the cameras too much, figuring that this stunt would all be over soon. But now after weeks of filming, they’ve started to make her a bit paranoid. She’s more concerned now about what she says, how she looks, what she’s drawing, or who she happens to be staring at longingly. She’s more aware of herself than ever before. And that makes her scared. Of what, she can't admit.

 

Not long after slipping the folder back in her desk, Jon emerged from Robert’s office looking simultaneously concerned and amused. He signaled for Theon to head into their boss’s office and then made a beeline for her desk, popping a jellybean in his mouth. Noticing that the candy dish was nearly empty, she made a mental note to buy some more.

 

“What was that all about?” Sansa questioned.

 

“I guess Cersei called and told Robert that he has to pick a new health care plan for us. And Robert being Robert, he can’t do it himself so, get this, he wanted _me_ to pick it for him. Naturally, I passed that responsibility off to Theon. I don’t know why he didn’t just pick him in the first place. This kind of thing is right up his alley.”

 

Sansa pursed her lips and let a breath out through her nose. She didn’t understand why Jon always seemed to sell himself short. He deserved more credit than that and she intended to tell him so.

 

“Did you ever think that maybe Robert trusts you, Jon? I know you don’t want to hear it, but you’re a great salesman and a good employee. You’ve proved yourself time and time again. Robert clearly sees something in you or else he wouldn’t have asked you to help him. Maybe he’s trying to groom you for a management position!?”

 

Jon blushed and looked down, hair falling into his eyes. “Management? Me? I don’t know, Stark. I mean, I’m flattered, but this is just a job. If I move up in this company anymore this would be my career. And if this were my career, I’d have to throw myself in front of a train.”

 

Sansa rolled her eyes at him. _Typical Jon. Always ready to deflect with a joke._

 

“Just think about it, ok? Please give yourself more credit. That’s all I’m asking.”

 

“Yeah, ok. Thanks, Sansa,” he nodded and smiled at her. “I’m uh, I’m gonna head to the break room and grab a soda. Want anything?”

 

Sansa smiled and shook her head at him. With one last jellybean, Jon turned and left for his destination. _He can be so thick sometimes._

 

By the time Jon came back with a grape soda, Theon was strutting around looking smug and setting up his “temporary work-space” in the conference room. Sansa had a bad feeling about this turn of events. Sure enough, a short while later, everyone in the office received a memo detailing their horrendous new health care plan. Needless to say, there was quite an upheaval from all the employees. Melisandre even threatened to cast a hex on Theon’s gallbladder, citing the Lord of Light’s displeasure.

 

Probably having heard raised voices, yet refusing to come out and gauge reaction, Robert called Sansa from inside his office.

 

“Sansa, hey! So, what’s the feeling out there? Theon put out the new health care plan yet? Everything all copaseptic?”

 

She rolled her eyes at his mispronunciation. “No, Robert. We’re actually all pretty upset about this new plan. It’s terrible. Theon cut everything. No dental. No vision-”

 

“What? No! Come on, Theon. Wow that just- That really sucks. Theon is the worst. Well I’m sorry Sansa, but I’m busy- VERY busy. I can’t be bothered the rest of the day. I'm going to need you to hold all my calls please.”

 

“Robert!” She said forcefully into the phone, but he’d already hung up.

 

_Coward._

 

Sansa hung the phone up in disgust and took one look at Jon’s frustrated face. Knowing what needed to be done, the two jumped into action, marching into the conference room to confront Theon. The cameras followed, obviously not wanting to miss anything good.

 

“Ok, what the hell is this, Theon?” Jon spit out, a bit too aggressively for Sansa’s taste. She wished he would have been a bit more courteous and diplomatic. But that wasn’t exactly Jon’s style when it came to Theon.

 

“Your new health care plan. Learn it. Live it. Love it,” Theon remarked.

 

“I don’t think we’ll be living long with this,” Jon quipped, holding up the memo. “You slashed everything. It’s completely bare bones. You work here too, Theon, don’t you want a good health care plan?”

 

“Don’t need it, superior genes. In the wild there is no health care. But the seed is strong with the Greyjoys. Through concentration I can both raise and lower my cholesterol at will,” he emphasized, moving his hand up and down.

 

“Why would you want to raise your cholesterol?” Sansa asked, very confused.

 

“So I can lower it. Duh.”

 

She could feel Jon tensing up next to her, so she placed a hand on his arm in an attempt to calm him. She did not miss the look he shot her or the way his muscles visibly relaxed under her touch.

 

“Ok, Theon this is a terrible plan. We deserve something better. Some people out there have serious medical conditions that they need covered. Can’t you find us something with a bit more coverage that still saves money?”

 

Sansa gave him her best pout, batting her eyelashes at him a bit. She was well aware of the effect she could have on Theon and she could tell he was about to crack.  


“Ugh, fine I’ll do it! Now out with the both of you so I can work,” He shooed them off, closing the door behind them.

 

“Nice work, Stark! You did great in there,” Jon congratulated her genuinely, his hand warm as it pat her back gently.

 

“Oh no I didn’t-”

 

“Yes you did, Sansa. That was all you. Maybe something good will actually come from your awesomeness.”

 

Sansa blushed at his words. She lived for his praise.

 

“Say, all this talk of disease and cholesterol is making me hungry. Want to go to lunch? My treat,” he offered invitingly.

 

She was extremely tempted and was just about to tell him yes, when Harry walked through the door and called her name.

 

“Harry!” She exclaimed, surprised to see him.

 

“Hey babe,” he greeted, enveloping her with a hug and kiss, “just came to see if you wanted to go for lunch? I gotta get out of this place for a while.”

 

Sansa was torn. On one hand Jon had asked her first. But on the other hand, Harry had come to surprise her with a potentially romantic lunch date in the middle of the week. He’d even hugged her and kissed her right there in front of everyone. She couldn’t possibly say no to that... Could she?

 

“Oh, well I would love to Harry, but Jon just-”

 

“Nope, don’t worry about me,” Jon interrupted, ducking his head down and giving her a tight-lipped smile. “I’m all set here, you two uh, just have a good lunch.”

 

He turned and quickly fled to the break room, leaving her and Harry standing awkwardly in the middle of the office.

 

“Well Sansy…”

 

She cringed at his choice of nickname, but pasted a smile on her face for him. “Sure. Let me just set the phone to voicemail and grab my jacket.”

 

Lunch, as it turned out, was not a romantic date for two. More like a decidedly not romantic date for a half dozen. Sansa spent the entire time sandwiched between her fiancé and a number of other warehouse workers. To make matters worse, Harry barely said a word to her, instead talking to his buddies for the duration of the meal.

 

_I should have gone with Jon. At least he wouldn’t forget to talk to me._

 

By the the time she got back from her disappointing lunch, she found Jon hard at work, writing furiously. And with a quick look around the room she discovered that most everyone else was doing the same. Intrigued, she put her purse and jacket away and went to perch herself on the edge of Jon’s desk.

 

“Hey, what’s going on? Why is everyone busy writing?”

 

“Well,” he said, beaming up at her, “while you were gone, Theon printed out a bunch of sheets for everyone in the office to fill in their various medical conditions so as to better help him find a decent plan for us.”

 

“Isn’t that stuff supposed to be confidential?”

 

“Yeah, but it’s not like Theon cares. Here, take one. Just don’t write down bloody flux or greyscale,” his face fell serious before breaking out in a grin, “because I’m suffering from both.”

 

Sansa burst out laughing. “What would you think if I invented new diseases?”

 

“I would say you are a damn genius. What do you have in mind?” He asked like a happy little boy about to receive a new toy.

 

Sansa thought for a moment.

 

“Well I was thinking, what if so much pressure built up behind my fingernails that they just randomly popped off at high velocities? What would you call that?”  


He looked at her curiously. “Sansa, I thought you said you were inventing new diseases. That’s spontaneous phalanges keratin ejection. My great grandma Snow almost killed my great grandpa when she accidentally shot him in the neck with her thumbnail.”

 

“Wow, that must have been tough,” she teased.

 

“Nah, it’s fine. He started talking again after six or seven months. Thank goodness we have modern medicine now to help prevent it though. Let’s just hope we can get coverage for it today.”

 

“Indeed,” she smiled and winked at him before returning to her desk to fill out her sheet. She had no real diseases to list on the sheet, so why not have a little fun at Theon’s expense? This was much too personal to be conducting in such a public manner anyway.

 

Once all the sheets had been filled out and turned in to Theon, Sansa and Jon waited patiently for an explosion. They were not disappointed.

 

“DAMMIT!” They heard through the closed door of the conference room, before Theon burst through red-faced and angry.

 

“Ok, who did it? Who willingly falsified medical information?”

 

“Whoa, that is a serious accusation, Theon. How do you know they’re fake?” Jon asked with a straight face.

 

Theon looked at him incredulously. “Uhhh, leech lesions? Porridge plague? Government created killer nano-robot infection? Why did you do this, Jon?”

 

“I don’t know what you’re talking about.”

 

“Yes you do! I will prosecute you to the full extent of my authority-”

 

“You have none.”

 

“DAMMIT JON I-”

 

“Guys! GUYS! Shut up for a minute!” Oberyn shouted, interrupting them. “There’s an article about Umber Mooton in the Times. And it’s not good...”

 

In her periphery, she saw the cameras panning all around the room trying to catch everyone’s reactions, but Sansa’s eyes were zeroed in on Jon.

 

He looked at her half-concerned for a second before mouthing, _Government created killer nano-robot infection?_ She could only smile and shrug back at him mouthing, _It’s an epidemic._

 

*******

 

“Robert, are the rumors true? What’s going on? What do you know?” Stannis questioned his brother harshly with the rest of the employees joining in. They had finally managed to drag him out of his office to grill him on his knowledge of the contents of the article.

 

“Listen, I only know as much as I’ve been told. And that is nothing, ok? NOTHING!” Robert was clearly uncomfortable and sweating profusely. “Nobody has told me anything and Cersei refuses to take my calls right now. So as far as we know, it’s just business as usual people. I suggest you all get back to work.”

 

“But Robert-” Walda began.

 

“I DO NOT KNOW PEOPLE! GET BACK TO WORK AND LEAVE ME ALONE! SANSA HOLD MY CALLS!” He shouted hysterically as he ran back into his office, slamming the door behind him like a moody teenager.

 

Jon sighed in frustration. Now it all made sense why they were picking a new health care plan. Just as so many had speculated, Umber Mooton was clearly losing money and scrambling to stay afloat. Who knew how long they had before the company went under? Now with possible downsizing and unemployment staring him in the face, all the jokes from earlier just didn’t seem so funny anymore.

 

If Jon was a betting man with all Umber Mooton branches on the table, he would for sure put all his money on Wintertown closing. They just did not have much going for them. With poor numbers and Robert Baratheon as their regional manager, it’s a wonder they’ve been kept alive this long.

 

_We’re living on borrowed time._

 

Jon was contemplating working on his résumé when Theon poked his head out of the conference room and spoke to him hesitantly.

 

“Jon? Could I uh, see you in my office real quick?”

 

“Temporary work-space,” he shot back.

 

“Dammit just, come on. Please? I have something of great importance to discuss with you.”

 

Jon sighed and got up from his desk to trudge into the conference room.

 

“What do you want, Theon?” He asked, taking the seat across from him.

 

“Relax, ok. It’s just me, your friend.”

 

Jon cocked his head to the side and glanced at the camera in the corner quickly, before settling his eyes on Theon once again. “No you’re not. You made that crystal clear during the camp-out last year.”

 

“That was said in a moment of weakness. You’re a city boy. How was I supposed to know that you knew how to properly build a fire? I was wrong, ok? I can be the bigger person and admit that. Now on to my reasoning for bringing you in here, you’ve heard rumors, right?”

 

“ _Rumours_ ? Oh yeah, of course. Who hasn’t? Everybody loves Fleetwood Mac. That album is a classic.”  


“Dammit Jon!” Theon pounded his fist on the table. “I’m trying to be serious here. Do you know anything about the possible downsizing and/or firings?”

 

_He’s way too easy to rile up._

 

“Oh right. Those. I mean, I was obviously there when Oberyn read the article, same as you. Other than that, I know very little. Why?”

 

Theon looked uncharacteristically concerned. “I just need to know if I’m safe. I need to know ahead of time, if I’m going to have to jump ship or not.”

 

“But I thought a good captain always went down with their ship?”

 

Theon’s eyes narrowed. “Normally, yes. But this is a metaphorical ship and I want to make sure I have a metaphorical lifeboat ready in case we hit a metaphorical iceberg. So I need your help.”

 

Jon sat in silence for a beatt. “I’m sorry, I’m just so distracted by the _Titanic_ references... You need me for what exactly?”

 

Theon looked annoyed. “Information. I know we don’t always see eye to eye, but we’re the two best salesmen in this office, Jon.”

 

“What about Stannis and Walda?”

 

“Too old. Washed up.”

 

Jon eyes turned up to the ceiling. “But isn’t Walda technically younger than you? Weren’t you two in the same year at school together?”

  
  
“That is irrelevant.”

 

“Is it though?” Jon looked in the camera again with a grin.

 

“Shut up, just-” Theon was losing his patience. “Ok, here it goes. Do you, Jon Snow, want to form an alliance with me, Theon Greyjoy?”

 

“An alliance? Is this a reality show? Is that what the cameras have been filming the whole time?”

 

“No. It’s simple really. You are well liked in the office. People tell you things. Maybe those things happen to be rumors. You hear these rumors and you report them back to me. We ride out of here in style when this place inevitably goes down in flames.”

 

"I thought we were a sinking ship?"

 

"YOU KNOW WHAT I MEAN DAMMIT!"

 

Jon thought it over for a minute, screwing his face up in mock concentration. _I can’t believe he so willingly handed me this on a silver platter._

 

“Well, what do you say, Jon? Do you want to form an alliance with me?”

 

Jon’s eyes slowly scanned the room as if to make sure their conversation wasn’t being overheard. Admittedly it was ridiculous because there were two cameras in the room with them.

 

“Absolutely I do.”

 

“YES!” Theon shouted, pumping his fist in the air. “Now, can you go out and subtly probe our coworkers to find out anymore information? Remember to report back to me on anything you find.”

 

“I’m on it, Theon. You can count on me. I will do this for you, so long as you provide us with a better health care plan in the meantime.”

 

_Come on take the bait, man. Please please please. I can at least do this for everyone..._

 

Theon weighed Jon’s words for a moment before nodding solemnly. “You have my word as a Greyjoy.”

 

“Perfect! I’ll be back with the information you seek. I won’t let you down.”

 

“Godspeed, Jon.”

 

Once he left the conference room he booked it over to Sansa to share the excellent news. She was thrilled to not only be potentially getting a better plan, but also at the prospect to mess with Theon. The two brainstormed to come up with wild rumors from mysterious sources. Jon did not hesitate to gush to the camera later in his interview about how amazing she was.

 

For the rest of the work day, Jon ran around the office “pumping” everyone for information, while in reality just chatting about whatever came to mind. Every time he passed the conference room, he’d give Theon a thumbs up to signal that the mission was going well. By quitting time, Jon had reported multiple nuggets of absurd information to Theon. And Theon had successfully come through and selected a much more appropriate plan for everyone in the office.

 

During his last rendezvous of the day with Theon, Jon had been struck with wicked inspiration and once he was finished, all but ran to Sansa to share in his joy.

 

“Oh my god oh my god oh my god!” He raced behind Sansa’s desk, grabbed the phone from her ear, and hung it up. “You’ll never believe this!”

 

“What?” She asked, seemingly just as excited as he was.

 

Crouching down to her level, he whispered, “Ok, I just convinced Theon that all of the rumors are leaking from Last Hearth.”

 

“Last Hearth?”

 

“Yes! Exactly! No one would ever suspect it! So I told him ‘wouldn’t it be nice if someone could go there and be a fly on the wall?’ He obviously agreed. So get this, he comes up with the decision to drive there tonight and infiltrate the office as a janitor to find any incriminating documents.”

 

“What?” Sansa grabbed his hand as she doubled over laughing.

 

“But the best part, the BEST part, is that I convinced him that he needs to dye his hair so as not to be recognized by any of their employees.”

 

“But they don’t know who he is!” She barely got out through the giggles.

 

“I know!” Jon couldn’t help but join in on the laughter. If it actually wound up coming to fruition, this was by far the best prank he has ever managed to pull on Theon. Jon and Sansa were so busy hunched over laughing at Theon’s expense that they didn’t see Harry come in the door until his voice boomed out angrily behind them.

 

“What the hell is this?”

 

Hearing Harry’s voice, Jon immediately let go of Sansa and stood with his palms out in front of him.

 

“Harry!” Sansa snapped to attention smoothing her shirt down.

 

“What, are you trying to cop a feel or something, Snow?”

 

“Hey no, I just-”

 

Harry moved in, backing Jon up into the corner and poking him in the chest repeatedly. "Huh? HUH!?"

 

“No, we were just laughing I swear!” Jon’s mouth worked fast trying to come up with an explanation as he felt every eye and camera looking in their direction. “Just, ok this is gonna sound really weird but Theon- He was concerned about the downsizing and wanted to form an alliance with me so we were just making fun of him. Because he’s crazy, you know. Just office pranks. That’s all. Just office pranks.”

 

“Yeah, it was just a joke. We were laughing,” Sansa protested meekly.

 

Harry did not look at all convinced. He searched around the office until he found Theon poking his head out of the conference room. “Is that true? An alliance? What is he talking about?”

 

Theon stood stone-faced and shook his head. “I have no idea.”

 

Harry turned his piercing gaze back at Jon. “I better not catch you doing anything like this again. You hear me?”

 

Jon nodded, unsure of what else to do.

 

“Get your stuff. We’re leaving, Sansy.”

 

Harry never broke eye contact with Jon as Sansa gathered her things quickly. Once she was finished, he grabbed her by the elbow and shoved her lightly towards the door.

 

Jon stood stock-still for a moment after the door clicked shut. He exhaled in a huff, and unclenched the fist he hadn’t realized his hand had formed. His heart was pounding fast as he looked around the office at all the judgmental eyes watching him. It didn’t matter that it had all been innocent fun. He’d been caught and he was mortified. He shuffled to the edge of Sansa’s desk and leaned over on his elbows, covering his face with his hands in an attempt to hide the burning shame he felt.

 

_Fuck my life..._


	3. Basketball

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Adding a few new characters here. Mostly warehouse workers. There are probably only two new characters that will have any sort of significance in future chapters. Tormund is playing the role of Darryl and Davos is Devon.
> 
> This is also the first chapter in which I'm making a significant change from episode to fic. If you know this episode well, you'll see what I mean. Is it suddenly hot in here? ;)

Jon got to the office early on this particular Friday morning, having had trouble sleeping the night before. He’d been suffering from a feeling he’d not had in a long time: pre-game jitters. Robert, in his infinite wisdom, had challenged the warehouse workers to a friendly game of pickup basketball earlier in the week. With each passing day, the game had been hyped up more and more.

 

Robert had dubbed the game, “The Umber Mooton Wintertown Branch Office/Warehouse Basketball Classic Championship Bowl Battle Royale Winner Take All.” Clearly this was no longer just a fun little game. With the ever present threat of possible downsizing looming on the horizon, the stakes had been raised so that the loser of the game would have to work on Saturday in order to keep up with corporate demands. Needless to say, none of the employees, office or warehouse, wanted to spend their weekend working. So everyone was on-edge to see the outcome of the game.

 

The film crew grabbed Jon immediately when he arrived at the office, wanting to get his morning interview out of the way.

 

“You know, basketball was kinda my thing in high school.” Jon told the camera with a sly grin. “I’m actually looking forward to playing. I think I’m gonna impress a few people here.”

 

_Ok sure, it’s really more like I want to impress one person, but they don’t need to know that._

 

Jon had been playing basketball starting when he was a little boy and all throughout school. He still played pickup games with his friends nearly every weekend. He spent his leisure time watching games and highlights on TV and the internet. Basically, he lived and breathed the sport. Jon was ready for this game. If there was one thing he knew he could do well, it was basketball.

 

“HEY HEY HEY! Everyone ready for the game today?” Robert boomed out as he strolled into the bullpen. He was in a very jolly mood. “Hey wow, that rhymed! Ok, we should probably discuss the starting lineup, don’t you think? So me, of course, obviously. Who else? Jon?”

 

“Yep I’m ready-”

 

“I have my gear, Robert!” Theon blurted out, holding up his gym bag proudly.

 

Robert’s smile fell. “That’s… great. Thanks. Wasn’t talking to you though…”

 

Theon plowed on as though he didn’t hear Robert. “Question. Can I be team captain?”

 

“No, as regional manager of this branch I am team captain. You can be assistant to the team captain.”

 

“Yesssss,” Theon pumped his fist in the air like it was the best thing he’d ever heard.

 

Robert clapped his hands together. “Who else we got playing today? Satin, my main man, you bring your stuff?”

 

The temp held up a plastic bag filled with clothes. “I’m getting paid to skip lunch, right?”

 

“Yeppers.”

 

“Ok, great,” Satin said, dropping his bag and turning back to his computer.

 

“Alright that’s four. Anyone else?” Robert asked, looking around the room before pointing to accounting. “Hodor! You’re a big guy! What do you play? Center?”

 

Hodor popped his head up over the cubicle partition. “Hodor?”

 

“Yeah… that’s what I said... How about you be an alternate, ok? Yeah, that sounds good. Who else… Oberyn! You’re a spritely and lithe young fellow. Care to suit up and handle some balls today?”

 

Jon saw Oberyn’s eyes go wide as he glanced into a camera before speaking.

 

“Thank you so much for the opportunity, Robert, but I think I might sit this one out. I’m still a bit sore from handling so many balls last night.”

 

Jon swerved around in his chair to look at his boss’s reaction. Robert just frowned and stroked his beard in confusion.

 

“Well… umm, ok then. Anyone else? Davos?”

 

“Nope. Too old.”

 

“You got that right,” Robert muttered under his breath.

 

“If it’s not too much trouble,” Melisandre began. “I would like to say a prayer before the game. R’hllor shall bless all the athletes, filling your hearts and loins with holy fire direct from the Lord of Light himself.”

 

It was Jon’s turn to glance into a camera questioningly.

 

Robert shook his head. “Yeah, I don’t think we’re supposed to bring religion into Umber Mooton. Separation of church and business. It’s a law people, look it up.”

 

“I’d like to play,” Walda spoke up with a small smile. “I was on a basketball team when I was a girl.”

 

Robert scrunched his face up tight and made a long high-pitched sound in his throat. “I’ll think about it.”

 

Jon decided to pipe in, “Hey, what about Rhaegar?”

 

Robert’s face turned to stone. “I will die before I let Rhaegar Targaryen on my basketball court. It’s bad enough he’s here everyday moping about. He will never have a place in this company nor on my team.”

 

Satisfied with that answer, Jon offered more options. “What about Sansa, or Jeyne, or Margaery?”

 

“I don’t know, ladies? Any takers? Oh wait, would you three want to be cheerleaders?”

 

“Absolutely not,” Jeyne spit out as if the idea tasted horrible in her mouth. “Who wants to prance around like some kind of trollop?”

 

“I’LL DO IT!” Margaery squealed. “I was a cheerleader in high school! It was so much fun!”

 

Jeyne scoffed and shook her head in disgust.

 

“Perfect! What about you, Sansa?” Robert asked.

 

“Sorry. I can’t root against my fiancé.”

 

Jon’s jaw clenched at the mention of Harry.

 

“Hmm, well I think that’s everyone... “ Robert scanned the room again. “WAIT! Hold the phone! Stannis the Mannis! What about you, brother from the same mother? What do you say, let’s get the Baratheon Bash Brothers back together! The Triple B’s, baby! TRIPS B’S! Just like old times! Now that’s what I’m talking about!”

 

“I wasn’t on the basketball team in high school. You’re confusing me with Renly,” Stannis refuted.

 

Robert smacked his head in recognition. “Oh yeah, that’s right. Guys, you should have seen Stannis in high school! While Renly (our younger brother) and I were out on the court dominating the competition and scoring chicks, Stannis was over on the bleachers with his nerd friends playing cyvasse. What a dork, amirite?”

 

Stannis narrowed his eyes at his brother. “I’ll have you know that cyvasse is an incredibly difficult game to master and I won the district tournament all four years of school.”

 

Robert just smiled dopily like he hadn’t heard a word his brother said. “That is definitely what a dork would say.”

 

“Well excuse me, Mr. I-Mouthed-Off-To-The-Coach-And-Had-To-Ride-The-Pine-Pony-All-Senior-Year.”

 

Jon had been starting to tune out Robert, but at the sound of potential embarrassment, his ears suddenly perked up. “You were a benchwarmer, Robert?”

 

“No! Well yes... I just- Ok, the coach and I had a different way of viewing things, that’s all. I wanted to run a triangle offense. You know, like Phil Jackson and DAAAAAA BULLS. But he wanted to keep it more traditional. It was just a difference of opinion.”

 

“So he benched you for it?” Sansa asked.

 

“Well I might have said a bit more than I should have…” Robert trailed off.

 

Stannis picked up where he left off. “When he rejected your idea, you told him that his wife was a dumb whore with a fat ass.”

 

The office erupted in hysterics. Jon looked at Sansa and shared a laugh.

 

“OK OK THAT’S ENOUGH PEOPLE!” Robert yelled, trying to wrangle his employees back in. “I was a troubled youth and I made a mistake. It cost me my basketball scholarship and my future. I could have been a star! No matter though, you’ll see today. You’ll all see!” He finished angrily, running into his office and slamming the door behind him.

 

Jon turned to look back at Stannis who was simply shaking his head in disbelief.

 

The hours ticked by fast and before he knew it, it was time for the game. Jon had changed into his t-shirt and shorts and was lacing up his basketball shoes and talking to Sansa before they headed down to the warehouse where the game would take place.

 

“Are you going to wish me luck, Stark?”

 

“Yeah, you’re gonna need it,” Sansa quipped, making a ‘THAT JUST HAPPENED’ face.

 

“Whoa, is that trash talk from Sansa?”

 

“I’m just saying, Harry is very competitive and he definitely doesn’t want to work tomorrow. We have plans to head up to Long Lake and take the jet skis so...”

 

“Yeah, well I have plans to go to the outlet mall tomorrow. And of course, I’m also very competitive and don’t want to work tomorrow. So if it turns out that we win the game today and Harry has to work tomorrow, feel free to come with me and save big on brand names.”

 

“I don’t know… I think I’ll be at the lake…” Sansa teased with a wink.

 

Jon tilted his head side to side as if contemplating. “Yeah, I think I’ll see you at the mall…”

 

Sansa laughed and stood up, making her way to the door. “Well then, may the best man win.”

 

Jon smirked and followed her. “I intend to.”

 

Down in the warehouse, Jon did some very light stretching with his teammates. It had been decided that Stannis would play after all. The older man was none too happy about that turn of events, grumbling the entire time.

 

Theon emerged from the warehouse bathroom complete with an authentic Pyke Squids jersey and a clear plastic mask on his face, making Jon stop mid-stretch as he took in the majesty before him.

 

“Ok, what the hell is on your face, Theon? Oh and nice jersey, by the way.”

 

His teammate scoffed. “This is my protective face mask. Just like the pros use.”

 

“I can see that, but why do _you_ need it?”

 

Theon sighed as he twisted his body back and forth, loosening up. “When my little sister and I were children, she broke my nose while we were playing on my uncle’s pirate ship. Ever since then it’s been very tender. My face helps me make my money, so I need to continue to look my best. Hence, why I am wearing this mask today. Can’t take any chances, Jon. You would be wise to do the same.”

 

“Wow,” Jon exhaled. “There is just so much I want to address in that statement and I am so very upset that we don’t have the time right now. Remind me later?”

 

“No.”

 

“K thanks.”

 

Robert made his way to the center of the makeshift court in the middle of the warehouse floor and put on his best announcer voice.

 

“Ok, starting lineups everyone! Over on Team Warehouse we have Tormund! Val! Mance! Harry! And Shagga! BOOOOO!!!!!! HISSSSS!!!!! YOU GUYS SUCK!!!!!!!!”

 

Jon smiled into a camera at his boss’s sad attempt to demoralize the other team.

 

“Aaaaaaaand on the home team, Team Office, we have Satin! Theon! Jon! Stannis the Mannis! And your team captain and regional manager, ROBERT BARAAAAAAAAAATEHOOOOOOOON!!!!!!! WOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!! YAAAAAAAAYYYYY!!!!!! WE LOVE YOU BOBBY B!!!!!!!!!”

 

Theon was the only person clapping and cheering with their boss.

 

“Alright teams, be ready we’re starting in just a few minutes.”

 

“What do you think, Team Office? Let’s be skins!” Theon asked, taking his shirt off to a chorus of boos and disgusted groans.

 

“Eww yuck, Theon, put your shirt back on. Nobody wants to see that,” Robert chastised.

 

Dejected, Theon slipped his jersey on backwards.  It took him a few minutes to realize it, much to Jon’s delight. He looked over to gauge Sansa’s reaction hoping to share in his joy, but she was too busy smiling and kissing Harry. Feeling an ache in his chest at the sight, Jon turned away quickly.

 

“Ok, everybody ready? Let us join together in the spirit of team-building and camaraderie. Sansa, since you kind of have your foot in both camps here, would you mind throwing up the jump ball?”

 

“Sure Robert.”

 

“Hey Sansa, make sure you tip it my way or you’re sleeping in the car,” Harry laughed to his warehouse buddies while Sansa looked mortified. Jon’s fist clenched as he watched the ball fly up in the air.

 

_I’m gonna make him pay for that comment. Game. On._

 

*******

 

Once upon a time, Umber Mooton used to have casual Fridays. Sansa can fondly remember Jon wearing possibly the tightest jeans known to man. It was a wonder that she’d ever gotten any work done on those days. There have also been a number of Robert-sanctioned work retreats in the past, so seeing Jon in casual clothes in and of itself was not an entirely new experience for Sansa. But seeing him like this - in a loose t-shirt and gym shorts as he moved gracefully on the warehouse floor - was definitely something she had never experienced before. And she liked it. A lot.

 

Her eyes were hungry and he was a veritable feast. His bulging biceps tugged tight at the sleeves of his shirt and his well-muscled legs rippled with exertion. His loose curls bounced all over his head for a short time, but soon enough he tied them back into a delectable man bun. Sweat dripped off him, soaking into his shirt and making it cling to his fit chest.

 

_Now I wish that Team Office had been skins. Thank all the gods it’s already hot down here or I would look so horrible fanning myself._

 

Sansa felt bad enough that she wasn’t really paying much attention to Harry. He was doing well for himself. Clearly the best player on Team Warehouse, but Jon was just… _Jon_. He was absolutely must-see, without a doubt the MVP of the game. He was completely at ease on the court, like a duck in water. He’d told her before that he’d played basketball in school, but Jon had clearly not bothered to tell her that he was this good. Whenever he had the ball in his hands he was the only thing worth watching. A sentiment that just about everyone on the sidelines agreed upon.

 

“Guys, I am seeing Jon in an entirely new light today and I am just so thankful right now,” Margaery said from her spot next to Sansa. “Does anyone know if he has a girlfriend, cuz I’d tap that in a heartbeat.”

 

Sansa did her best to ignore the stinging jealousy in her gut and instead focused on watching him play.

 

Jon wasn’t just an excellent individual player, he was also a great team player. He made smart passes to his teammates for easy buckets and set screens for other players to take shots. He was super supportive, clapping and encouraging everyone on his team, even Theon and Robert. He was so good, Sansa began to wonder why he hadn't made a career out of this.

 

_Why isn’t he a pro? Or even a coach or something? He could probably be so much happier doing this than wasting away in an office all day. I should talk to him about that._

 

Robert had been trying to take the lead and be the hero, but after some time, Team Office was losing. During a time out, Jon offered to guard Harry and Robert reluctantly relinquished his hold on the team, gifting him the reigns. Her best friend and her fiancé were going to battle it out.

 

With Jon and Harry now going toe to toe, the intensity ramped up. This was not a Jon she recognized anymore. This wasn’t her sweet, goofy best friend. This was a man - an alpha - destroying everything in his path. Jon took any shot he wanted, sinking every single one so easily, it was almost unfair. Team Warehouse had no answer for him. Harry was the best they had and he failed to live up to the challenge.

 

Jon dribbled carefully, trying to bait Harry into stealing the ball. Harry took the bait and Jon, anticipating this, dribbled behind his back and cut to the lane making an easy layup while Harry stood there looking like a fool. Sansa involuntarily let out a whoop of excitement. Jon smiled and nodded his head to her as he passed by on his way down to the other end of the floor. She couldn’t help but lick her lips as she watched him go, pleased with the sight before her.

 

As the game wore on, Jon never took a seat on the bench, telling Robert he could play the duration. And to his credit, despite being drenched in sweat, Jon barely looked winded. Meanwhile, every other player on either team looked like death warmed over.

 

Jon and Harry continued to wage war on both sides of the court while Sansa felt caught in the middle. Even though she had been shamelessly watching Jon the entire time, she could sense Harry’s growing frustration. On one fateful play, Jon was guarding Harry a bit too closely and Harry swung his arms around with the ball trying to create space for a shot. Her fiancé’s elbow connected with her best friend’s face hard and Jon stumbled backwards into the wall.

 

“NOOOOOO NOT JON!!!!!!!" Robert cried out in anguish as his star player held his face in his hands. "That is a flagrant technical personal intentional foul!”

 

Sansa stood and watch concerned as Jon slunk off towards the warehouse bathroom, while the other players started arguing amongst themselves over how to deal with this situation. Ever the helper, Jeyne grabbed the first aid kit and jumped up into action. As if her body had become possessed, Sansa reached her hand out to stop her.

 

“Let me help him, Jeyne.”

 

“I am the safety officer Sansa, not you,” she said with a pointed look.

 

“I know that. Just- Jon’s my friend and I just want to make sure he’s ok.”

 

Jeyne clucked her tongue disapprovingly, but relented and handed the kit over to Sansa.

 

She slipped quietly past the arguing players and stood before the bathroom door hesitantly. It wasn’t fully shut and Sansa could see a sliver of Jon’s reflection in the mirror through the crack in the door. Steeling her nerves, she knocked gently.

 

“Jon? It’s me.”

 

After a moment, he opened the door wide, holding a blood-soaked paper towel to his lip.

 

“Hey...” he mumbled.

 

“Oh my god, are you ok?” She asked, shoving past him into the cramped bathroom, the door slipping shut behind her.

 

“I’ll be alright, but damn Stark, your fiancé really has elbows of steel,” he chuckled mirthlessly.

 

Sansa blanched at his mention of Harry. She didn’t want to think about him right now. Not here. Not when her best friend was hurt because of him.

 

“Here, let me take a look at it. I brought the first aid kit.”

 

“How in the world did you manage that? Are you and Jeyne best friends now?”

 

Sansa smacked his arm and he laughed.

 

“Hey, I thought ‘do no harm’ was part of your oath, Dr. Stark?”

 

“The oath is more like guidelines. Especially when dealing with naughty patients. Now hold still, mister!”

 

Jon’s laugh died on his lips as Sansa grabbed his chin and angled it down so she could get a better look at the damage. Harry’s elbow had really done a number on him, splitting his bottom lip wide open. On the plus side though, the bleeding had just about stopped.

 

_This should be an easy fix. I don’t think he’ll need stitches. I’ll just wash it out and put some neosporin on there or something. He’ll probably have a fat lip for a while as it heals but…_

 

She’d been so busy staring at the cut on his lip, it took her a moment for her focus to zoom out to see the big picture. And once it did, all her senses burst into life.

 

Sansa’s mouth went dry as she suddenly realized exactly how close they really were. In her effort to take a better look at him, she had all but pushed him up against the sink, her body nearly flush against him. Jon’s pupils were blown wide, raking over her features. His rough whiskers tickled her fingers and his hot breath washed over her face. The beads of sweat that had collected on his forehead plastered down any loose curls. His heady scent, a mixture of sweat and musk and just _him_ , drifted into her nose. It was all so very intoxicating. In all his sweat and grime, Jon looked like something out of one of her dirtiest fantasies. And Sansa wanted nothing more than to devour him.

 

_It would be so easy to just lean forward and press my lips against his. Maybe my kiss would even have magical healing powers... It couldn’t hurt to just try, could it?_

 

As if being guided by an invisible force, Sansa leaned in closer and closer, her hand still holding his face and her eyes fluttering shut. Jon seemed to be doing the same, his hands gripping her waist hard as if to steady himself.

 

_It would be so sweet. Let me have it please. Just this once..._

 

Their lips were just a hair’s breadth away from touching, when a loud bang from outside the bathroom snapped Sansa out of her trance. She tried to jump back, but Jon’s hands still held her firmly.

 

“Dammit, Robert, that’s expensive equipment!” She heard Tormund yell and the other warehouse worker join in.

 

_Harry. My fiancé._

 

Finally realizing her ridiculously close proximity to Jon, Sansa took a step back and they both released their holds on one another quickly, as if they were both hot to the touch.

 

“I’m so sorry!” She sputtered out, breathless and unsure of what to say. “I don’t know what came over me. I just-”

 

“No no it’s fine. Don't worry about it,” Jon reassured, nodding in understanding and giving her the out she so desperately desired.

 

Feeling like she might either faint or burst into flames, Sansa somehow resisted the urge to pounce on him and instead reached for the first aid kit.

 

“Let me just fix your lip real quick and we can be out of here in a jiffy, ok?”

 

“Sure. Whatever you say, Sansa,” he said, his face now a mask of indifference.

 

She quickly cleaned and dressed his lip as best she could with the minimal amount of touching necessary. Once she finished she fled the bathroom in a rush, quietly retaking her seat and handing the kit back to Jeyne who gave her a suspicious look.

 

Good as new, Jon took his place back on the court and Sansa watched the rest of the game in a fog. She couldn’t believe how close she’d come to actually kissing him. Never before in her life had she ever felt that overwhelming desire and lust like she had with Jon in that bathroom, not even when she and Harry had first started dating. The idea of what that might truly mean scared and confused Sansa. Not wanting to face the possible truth looking her right in the face, she did her best to cast it back down to the shadowy depths of her heart where it belonged.

  
*******

 

Despite Jon having led Team Office to victory, Robert had caved under pressure from the threats of the warehouse workers and told them that they could have the weekend off. Defeated and depressed, the office workers left to go back upstairs. Once everyone had made it back up to the office and the players had changed clothes, Robert attempted to soothe his upset employees.

 

“Now I know what you’re all thinking…”

 

“We won that game, Robert. Fair and square,” Jon growled at his boss.

 

“Come on guys, cut me some slack here. A deal’s a deal, unless it’s DEAL OR NO DEAL! Howie Mandel.” Robert looked into a camera and smiled shamelessly.

 

Stannis rolled his eyes. “No, the deal was that the loser works tomorrow. Team Office were the winners. We should not be working on Saturday.”

 

The rest of the office joined in with a chorus of agreements. Even Theon, much to Jon’s surprise.

 

“You know what?” Robert asked, looking contemplative. “You’re right. You are absolutely right. Screw corporate. They can’t tell us what to do. You all have the day off tomorrow. Everybody go home and enjoy your weekend.”

 

“Wow, thanks, Robert!” Theon beamed.

 

“Yeah no problem. It’s not like coming in an extra day would really do anything to prevent us from being downsized anyway. Have a good weekend everyone!”

 

Robert smiled and turned to go in his office, whistling as he went. The cameras panned around trying to catch all the reaction shots of the office workers increasingly sad faces.

 

Not quite ready to go home yet, Jon relaxed in a chair by Sansa’s desk, icing his lip and chatting with her as she gathered her things to go home. He still couldn’t believe what had happened in that bathroom earlier. It didn’t seem real. In fact, he’d almost convinced himself that it hadn’t been real, that he’d imagined the whole thing in his pain-addled brain. It had all been a hallucination. It was less devastating that way.

 

“So Jon,” Sansa probed, “you’re like really good at basketball. Why didn’t you continue that? Like play in college or become a coach or something?”

 

He hadn’t expected that line of questioning. It was something he’d thought about more and more as he’d come to hate his job at Umber Mooton over the years. After taking a moment to gather his thoughts, Jon lowered the ice pack and responded.

 

“Well basketball was always my outlet when I was younger. It was my hobby and I did it purely for fun. I had a lot of people tell me I should try to pursue it further, but I guess I was just afraid that if I made it my life I would wind up hating it. I didn’t want that to happen.”

 

Sansa nodded in understanding.

 

“I get that, Jon. I really do. But I think you should maybe try to do something with it now. Maybe you could coach a youth team on the weekends or something. You would be great, I know it. Just think about it, ok?”

 

Jon was touched at her genuine interest in his life. Just add it to the list of reasons why he loved her.

 

“Yeah, maybe I will, Sansa," he told her sincerely. "You know, I actually talked to a scout on the phone just a bit ago. Haven’t signed anything yet, but he said he really liked what he saw.”

 

“Uh huh, sure,” Sansa chuckled as she set the phone to voicemail and shut down her computer.

 

The door opened behind Jon and Harry waltzed in with his jacket slung over one shoulder, looking everything like the too-cool-for-school jock asshole he was. Not that he would ever tell Sansa that. She was going to marry the guy after all. Maybe she liked that aspect of his personality. Maybe he didn’t really know her as well as he thought he did.

 

“Well if it isn’t Jon Snow, Lord Commander of the court. I gotta hand it to you man, you have some really slick moves. Nice job out there. What do you think, Sansy? Pretty good, huh?”

 

“Yeah, he was pretty good I guess,” she offered shyly, cheeks turning pink.

 

“Hey man, sorry about the uh…” Harry coughed and gestured to Jon’s lip.

 

“Oh, don’t worry about it. All part of the game. I’ve had worse.”

 

“That’s right. All in the game. Ok, well ready to go, Sansy?” She nodded at her fiancé. “Gotta get home and ice down the old knees. Later Snow, have a good weekend.”

 

“Bye Jon,” Sansa squeaked as Harry wrapped an arm around her shoulder to lead her out the door.

 

Jon smiled and waved as they passed.

 

“Eww, you’re so sweaty,” Jon heard Sansa exclaim from behind him. “Let’s get you into a tub!” There was no denying the flirtatious tone in her voice.

 

“Oh yeah? Well you’re getting in with me, babe!” Harry laughed and Sansa giggled as the door closed behind them.

 

Jon’s smile slowly faded away as tried not to imagine a naked Sansa in a bathtub with that asshole she called a fiancé. He raised the ice pack back up to his lip in an attempt to feel something else. But he found that he didn't feel the cold, nor the throb of the cut on his lip. No, the only thing he could feel now was the pain of his heart being ripped open.


	4. Hot Girl

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Man, it's been a minute, huh? I've had most of this written for weeks. But then an unexpected case of writer's block shut me the fuck down. But I'm back now baby! Hopefully with less interruptions. Here's a nice long chapter for all you lovely people! Hope it's good! :)
> 
> Also, spoilers for Avengers: Infinity War. But like come on guys get with the program if you haven't already seen it. :P

It was only 9:15, but as usual it had already been a long morning at Umber Mooton. So far Sansa had spent her time dominating a game of minesweeper on her computer. Without warning the main door to the office suddenly banged open, startling her and causing her to click the wrong space. Game over.

 

“Dammit,” she hissed under her breath.

 

“Hey everyone! Look who I found wandering around the building!” Robert greeted the office enthusiastically.

 

A young woman dragging a large suitcase came in behind Robert. She nervously eyed the cameras and the rest of the office. Sansa caught her eye and for a moment, it almost felt like she was gazing into a mirror. It wasn’t an exact match, but it was bizarrely uncanny just how similar they looked. To any stranger, the two women probably could have been mistaken for sisters with their matching pale complexions, long red hair, and blue eyes. The woman even appeared to be approximately the same height and build as Sansa.

 

Robert clapped a hand on the woman’s back and smiled. “Alrighty, so this is Ygritte and she sells handcrafted designer handbags for a living. She looked lost downstairs so I thought to myself, _You know who loves handbags? My employees!_ So I brought her up to Umber Mooton to set up shop for the day.”

 

Sansa sighed.

 

_Really? At this rate, I might as well be the one in charge here._

 

“Umm Robert?” Sansa interjected. “We’re not supposed to have solicitors in the office.”

 

“Oh chill out, Sansa. I’m the boss around here. I wield ultimate power. I’m like Thanos with his Infinity Glove. Watch out losers! I’ll snap my fingers and make everybody buy a purse! Wouldn’t that be great?”

 

Jon smirked, “I don’t think it works that way, Robert.”

 

“Yeah Jon’s right. And it’s really more of a gauntlet,” Theon added.

 

“Oh what do either of you know anyway? I’m hip, ok? I see every movie that comes out, even if I have no idea what’s happening in it. I practically have a reserved seat at the multiplex. Except whenever someone gets there before me. The theater staff know me by name. They have my snack order on hand ready to go when I get there.”

 

Robert droned on and Sansa couldn’t hide her grin at Jon’s amused face. He looked like an adorable little kid in a candy store.

 

“See? Now that is how you run a business! Loyalty! Ygritte, have you seen the new Avengers yet? I’m sure I could get you a seat right next to me if you want…” Robert trailed off, looking at Ygritte expectantly.

 

She grimaced. “Oh umm, thank you but that’s not really my kind of movie.”

 

“Well suit yourself then. That movie was awesome, am I right guys?!”

 

Hodor popped his head up over his cubicle. “But Robert, like everybody dies at the end-”

 

“GOD HODOR! SPOILER ALERT MUCH!?” Robert yelled. “I am so sorry to everyone that hasn’t seen it yet. Do not listen to him, people!”

 

“Oh come on, that movie has been out for like half a year,” Oberyn reasoned. “I think by now anyone that cares about the story at all probably already knows what happens.”

 

“And even some of us that don’t,” Stannis piped in, never looking up from his crossword puzzle.

 

Robert threw his hands up in vexation. “Well excuse me for caring about the entertainment well-being of my employees. God, I wish I could just snap my fingers and disintegrate half of you people.”

 

At that, the office erupted in hysterics, everyone upset at the insinuation. Robert was forced to immediately back down from his position.

 

“Ok fine, relax everyone it was just a joke. I don’t really want to disintegrate any of you… except maybe Rhaegar. Fair enough?” Robert implored, looking around the room for affirmation.

 

About half the office grumbled their agreement. Sansa just frowned, not wanting anyone to suffer the fate of disintegration.

 

“I’m sorry, did I hear that right?” Davos questioned, leaning forward in his chair to look around. “We’re gonna start integrating the office? Because I gotta say, it’s about damn time! Way too much white bread up in here. Hey this guy knows what I’m talking about!”

 

Davos pointed a finger at Oberyn who, after briefly looking displeased for being singled out, shrugged and nodded in agreement.

 

Robert tilted his head in confusion, “Ok Davos, if you have a problem with the racial makeup of this office then I suggest next time you bring that to me privately. Also, I’m going to write you a recommendation to get your hearing checked. I think we could all probably benefit from that.”

 

Ygritte sneezed quietly next to Robert, reminding Sansa that she was the entire reason for this impromptu random tangent.

 

“Robert, can we get back to the original topic at hand please? What are you going to do about the handbags?”

 

“Oh yes right. My apologies, Ygritte.” He flashed the woman a smile before looking back towards Sansa. “I say she stays.”

 

“But Robert-”

 

“No buts, Sansa! I say what goes around here and I want Ygritte to stay.” Robert’s tone was final and she knew better than to argue with him. Especially over something as trivial as this. She just hoped that Cersei wouldn’t be making a surprise visit today.

 

Sansa nodded and Robert looked back and forth between her and Ygritte for a moment, recognition flashed over his face. “You know, I don’t know how I missed this before, but you two look so much alike. Man, it’s almost like Ygritte is the new and improved Sansa. Yep that’s it! Sansa 6.0! What do you all think?”

 

Sansa’s jaw dropped slightly in disbelief. It wasn’t that she didn’t think anyone else would make the comparison, it was more that she hadn’t expected it to be in such hurtful words. From across the room, she could feel the camera honing in on her face. Embarrassed, she ducked her head down in an effort to hide the blush staining her cheeks. Through her hair she could just make out Jon’s withering scowl aimed directly at Robert.

 

Oblivious to his insensitive words, Robert went on. “Ygritte, why don’t you set up shop in the conference room for the day? That way you’ll be centrally located and people can stop by at their leisure.”

 

“Umm, ok. Sounds great,” Ygritte said, flashing Sansa an apologetic look.

 

“Robert, the conference room? Rhaegar is supposed to give an HR presentation at 11,” Jeyne reminded.

 

“Ugh, all the more reason to have her in there instead,” Robert huffed. “Rhaegar can just go do his presentation in a river and die. Come on, Ygritte, let’s get you all set up. Theon, grab her bag, would you?”

 

“On it, boss!” Theon agreed, racing over to snatch up her suitcase. He lifted it onto his shoulder with an audible wince of pain.

 

“Would you like a cup of coffee, my dear? Something to snack on perhaps?” Robert’s voice trailed off as he guided Ygritte to the conference room.

 

Once they were tucked away in the conference room, Jon promptly stood and made his way to Sansa’s desk. Leaning his elbows on the counter and popping a jellybean in his mouth he asked with a slight smirk, “So, how’s it going Sansa 1.0?”

 

She chuckled at his joke in spite of her hurt feelings. “Oh you know, just so great. I absolutely love being reminded that I’m in desperate need of an upgrade. Ugh, Robert really knows how to hurt a girl’s self-esteem.”

 

Jon shook his head and frowned. “Robert is an idiot, ok? You know that. Please don’t listen to his nonsense. You are beautiful, Sansa. Anyone with eyes can see that.”

 

His cheeks were pink by the time he finished. He looked down sheepishly like he hadn’t meant to say that much. Sansa didn’t care one bit. She was positively reeling from his statement and couldn’t stop the smile from spreading on her face.

 

_Jon thinks I’m beautiful?_

 

Her mind just kept repeating his words over and over. His sweetness was just everything she could have ever asked for in that moment. She wished he would keep talking, but she didn’t want to embarrass him any further than he already appeared to be.

 

“Thank you, Jon.” She said softly, continuing to smile at him big and bright.

 

“Anytime, Stark. I umm, I should probably get back to work now.” He pointed his thumb over his shoulder. “You’ll be alright, yeah?”

 

“Yeah. I’ll be fine.”

 

_Better than fine, actually. FANTASTIC! I’ll just be over here freaking out because you think I’m beautiful. No big deal._

 

*******

 

Theon’s leg bounced wildly up and down as his body sat facing the conference room. The repetitive thump on the floor annoyed Jon to no end.

 

“Can you stop that please? What are you even doing?” Jon asked, not looking up from filling out his latest expense report. “And stop staring at that poor woman. It’s creepy.”

 

“But I can’t! She’s just too... pure.”

 

Jon guffawed. “Pure? What does that even mean?”

 

“I don’t know. It’s just, I am positively bewitched by her,” Theon spoke in awe. “Ygritte has just about everything on my checklist for the perfect woman. Blue eyes, creamy skin, slightly curly hair, amazing breasts... Not for me though. For my children. The Greyjoys produce very thirsty babies.”

 

Jon's stomach lurched. “I literally almost threw up in my mouth.”

 

“It’s the truth!”

 

“I don’t need to know that,” Jon grumbled. He was having a hard time understanding why everyone was fawning over Ygritte so much. Sure she was a pretty new face, but the way some people were acting, it was almost as if they had never seen a woman before. Jon’s fist involuntarily clenched thinking back to Robert and his rude comment to Sansa. Taking a deep breath, he exhaled and decided to see what he could do for Theon.

 

“Well if she’s so perfect for you, why don’t you just go talk to her?”

 

“Oh no no no, I can’t do that! As regional manager of this branch, Robert owns the claim on her. Not me. He made that very clear to me earlier when I asked his permission to court her.”

 

“What in the world? What is this, medieval times or something?”

 

“No, THAT is a family oriented dinner theater franchise establishment with locations all over Westeros. THIS is real life. I cannot betray Robert or the company like that. No matter how in love I am.”

 

Jon dropped his pen and made a ‘T’ with his hands. “Whoa whoa whoa, time out! Betray the company? In love? I think you’re getting a little ahead of yourself. You’ve never even spoken one word to her! Ok, bear with me for a second...”

 

“Done.”

 

“Robert may be your boss here at work, but he's not the boss of your heart. For as long as I’ve worked here, you’ve told me all about how long ago the Greyjoys used to rule the seas and take whatever they wanted. They never asked permission. And that included women. Now while I don’t condone the unlawful capturing and assaulting of women, especially in this day and age, I do think you could maybe use a bit of your family’s misguided confidence from the olden days to ask Ygritte out on a date.”

 

Theon’s chin trembled like he was about to cry. “That may be the nicest thing you have ever said to me, Jon.”

 

“My pleasure.” _What the hell am I saying?_

 

Theon rolled his shoulders a few times and puffed out his chest. “Ok yeah, I’m going to just go in there and tell her how I feel. I’ll take what I want, no holds barred! She’ll be my salt wife!”

 

Jon put his hands up. “Whoa there squid boy, maybe hold a few bars. No taking things. No salt wives. Definitely don’t mention her breasts. Just walk in there and ask her out on a date. If she accepts, great! If she says no, that’s ok. That just means it wasn’t meant to be. Alright?”

 

Theon jumped up from his seat and pounded on his chest. “We do not sow! What is dead may never die!”

 

Jon dropped everything, swiveled his chair around, and waved a camera over to watch the show. Theon looked back and gave him a thumbs up through the window. Jon couldn’t hear what he was saying to Ygritte, but Theon’s mouth worked fast as he browsed her selection of bags carefully. He paused every now and then to pick up a different bag and test its strength and durability by throwing it across the room or banging it on the table. Ygritte was decidedly not pleased with the situation.

 

_What in the name of the drowned god is this fool doing?_

 

Seemingly satisfied with one bag in particular, Theon pulled out his wallet and forked over some cash. Ygritte gladly took the money with a smile, but it soon wiped off her face as Theon continued talking to her. Not for the first time, Jon wished he was better at reading lips. One word he certainly could make out clear as day from Ygritte’s mouth was the word **_NO_ **.

 

Theon bowed his head in defeat and slowly left the room to head back to his desk. He slumped into his chair looking absolutely miserable, clutching his freshly purchased bag to his chest. He looked so sad, Jon almost felt sorry for him.

 

_Almost._

 

“What happened in there, Theon? You bought a purse? That was not part of the plan!”

 

“I know that. Don’t you think I know that? And it’s a man’s formal handbag, thank you very much!”

 

“Whyyyyy?” Jon groaned.

 

“I panicked, ok? I walked in there and she smiled at me and I thought ‘ _What would be a great way to gain her trust?_ ’ so I asked her about her merchandise and then I bought one.”

 

“Ok, I see your logic. Then what?”

 

“Well as I was paying I let it slip that I thought she was the most beautiful specimen I’d ever seen…”

 

“Oh god no...”

 

“... and that I wanted to take her to a romantic dockside dinner for two. She told me no and that was that. It was pretty firm too. There was no wiggle room there, I checked. She definitely did not want to go out with me.”

 

Jon sighed. “Well I’m sorry, buddy. But at least you tried, right? You put yourself out there and that is the first step to starting a relationship. I am proud of you for standing up for what you love.”

 

“Thank you, Jon. You have been an admirable ally in this quest. I tip my captain’s hat to you.”

 

“Don’t mention it. Seriously,” he smirked. “Oh by the way, would you mind if I borrowed your purse sometime? I’ve got a soiree to attend in a few weeks and that bag would match my dress like you wouldn’t believe.”

 

Theon glared back at him, clutching his bag tighter. “Damn you, Jon.”

 

*******

 

Sansa had been a very pleasant fog all morning since Jon had bestowed that little nugget of information on her earlier in the morning. She’d worked on yet another sketch of Jon’s profile to add to her  ever-growing collection. And she had even made an effort to reach out to Ygritte, who had wholly apologized to her for Robert’s rude comment. With Jon’s words still in her mind, Sansa just waved it off as nothing more than what she normally puts up with. She had even admired a few of her bags but, with money being a bit tight, did not purchase any.

 

By lunchtime, Sansa found herself eating in the break room with Jon, Harry, Hodor, Margaery, and of course a camera. Much to her chagrin, Harry had also fallen under Ygritte’s spell.

 

“So what do you think of that new purse girl out there, Jonny?” He asked, taking a giant bite of his sandwich.

 

Jon glanced at Sansa quickly before taking a sip of his grape soda. “She’s ok I guess.”

 

“Ok?” Harry scoffed. “Are you kidding me? She’s smoking hot.”

 

_Really, Harry? REALLY? I’m right here._

 

Jon shrugged. “I don’t know. Not sure she’s exactly my type.”

 

That was certainly news to Sansa. While they often seemed to discuss her love life, the two almost never talked about Jon’s. For some reason it just never seemed to come up. She had vaguely heard of Jon dating in the past, but he’d kept all that information to himself.

 

“Oh really? Well what is your type then, Jon?” Margaery purred seductively, tracing the rim of her water bottle with her index finger. She had confided in Sansa recently that she was still on edge from witnessing Jon’s prowess on the basketball court the other week.

 

_Me too, girl. Me too._

 

Jon titled his head back and forth in contemplation. “Umm, well if I had to have a type, I’d probably have to say… moms. You know, single moms, soccer moms, tiger moms... really just any kind of mom. I’m not picky.”

 

“That’s disgusting.” Harry scoffed.

 

“Don’t date my mom.” Hodor said in his usual monotone, but with the added bonus of his mouth being full of ramen.

 

“Too late. Been there done that.”

 

“But she’s so old. Like a grandma. Everyone calls her Old Nan. She’s almost 90!”

 

“Even better,” Jon said dryly as Sansa let out a giggle.

 

Her laughter was interrupted by Ygritte walking into the breakroom. Both Harry and Hodor immediately sat up straighter and smiled at her. Sansa noted that Jon barely even glanced her way. Ygritte smiled back at the group and quickly retrieved a soda from the vending machine. She left as quietly as she came, shooting Jon a quick glance that he did not seem to notice.

 

Harry let out a low whistle as her footsteps faded. “I’m telling you, Snow, you need to get you some. I’d be all over that if I wasn’t dating Sansa.”

 

Not believing her ears, Sansa dropped the fork she’d been using for her salad. “We’re not dating. We’re engaged.”

 

“Oh… yeah engaged. I know that,” Harry offered unconvincingly.

 

Sanas glared at him and left the room in disgust, not looking back and not bothering to clean up her trash. She went straight to her desk and sat down in a huff. She couldn’t see the cameras, but she could feel them on her. It only made her anger and embarrassment worse.

 

_How could he just sit there and say that? Just openly stare at her ass like I wasn’t even there? ‘I’d be all over that if I wasn’t dating Sansa.’ Yeah well fuck you, Harry. You can sleep on the couch tonight. Maybe I should go find my own man to drool over. Bet the bastard wouldn’t like that very much._

 

It was so typical that Harry would act this way. She had basically expected it, but that didn’t stop the pain it caused. The only bright spot about this entire ordeal was that Jon seemed to be completely unaffected by Ygritte’s charms. She knew it was ridiculous, but part of her was extremely pleased that Jon had not joined in with the masses. It was comforting to know that he wasn’t like the rest of them, fawning over her.

 

Thinking back to the conversation in the break room, her mind started to wander about Jon’s love life. It was definitely not something she ever really took the time to think about, but suddenly she was extremely concerned.

 

_Jon deserves to find someone and be happy. He’s such a great catch. How in the world is he even still single? I mean, if I wasn’t engaged I would have snapped him up..._

 

Sansa shook her head and bit the inside of her cheek as a penance for that particular thought.

 

_I’m no better than Harry, thinking something like that. I should be ashamed. Even if it is true, it doesn’t matter. I am engaged. Harry is a good man and he just doesn't always think before he speaks. He’s kind of oblivious sometimes. It’s cute. In like a terribly frustrating sort of way._

 

As if she had summoned him, Harry left the break room and passed by her desk on his way back down to the warehouse. He paused for a second as if he was either waiting for her to acknowledge him or to say something himself. Sansa did not glance up and he left just as quickly as he came.

 

Before much longer, Jon also arrived back at his desk. As he sat down, Sansa looked up at him and he rewarded her with a small smile that made her heart pound wildly in her chest.

 

_Good god, calm down girl. It’s just a smile. Ugh, he really needs to find someone and soon. I don’t know how much more of this I can take. Maybe I’ll call one of my friends..._

 

*******

 

_Can this day get any weirder?_

 

Having just come back from Robert’s office to find Theon had gone to the bathroom, Jon took advantage of the situation and decided to slip another copper into the man’s phone. He had quite a few thoughts running through his head as he worked to unscrew his desk mate’s handset. Much like Theon, Robert had been asking him for love advice to use on Ygritte. And to make matters worse, Harry’s words from lunch wouldn’t leave him alone.

 

_Everybody and their mother wants Ygritte and I just… don’t get it? Is something wrong with me? Let’s be real. She’s a redhead. She is definitely my type. She’s single. This makes no sense. What am I waiting for? I never thought I’d say this, but Harry’s kind of right, I should be all over that. Sansa’s engaged and I’m just sitting here doing nothing and feeling sorry for myself because I can’t be with her. I’m just a fucking idiot._

 

_It’s been… shit has it been a year since I’ve been on a date? Maybe I should ask her out after all. What harm could it do? It’s not like I’m ever gonna be with-_

 

“Sansa!” Jon squeaked out in surprise as the woman herself sat on the edge of his desk with a big grin on her face. “Umm, what’s up?”

 

_Please tell me I’m not blushing._

 

“You will never believe this, Jon! Ok, so Robert just stopped me as I came out of the bathroom and asked me if girls my age like futons.”

 

Jon finished up with Theon’s phone and but it back on the receiver, in awe of what he’d just been told. “Wait… what? No! Are you kidding me? He’s a grown man.”

 

“I know! I have so many questions. And just… ewww.”

 

“That is so weird. I was just in his office and he was questioning me for advice too. But he definitely neglected to mention the futon.”

 

Sansa blinked and leaned in slightly. “Advice, huh? What kind of advice did he want?”

 

“Oh uh, just your average everyday common sense love advice that anyone with half a brain would know. But as we both know, this is Robert so...” Jon chuckled.

 

Sansa smiled back at him, but then suddenly sat up straight. Confused, Jon peeked over his shoulder to see Harry walking up behind him, wilting flowers in hand.

 

_Well isn’t this just wonderful? Not in front of me please. I don’t want to be here for this._

 

Desperately willing for the two of them to take this elsewhere, Jon sat awkwardly clicking through his emails while Harry started lamely apologizing to Sansa.

 

“Hey, babe. Still mad at me?” He asked, thrusting the flowers at her.

 

“Harry…” she trailed off, taking the offered flowers from him and fingering the petals.

 

“Come on Sansy, I’m sorry! You know you’re the only girl for me,” he teased, grabbing her by the waist and tickling her.

 

Sansa struggled against him at first. “Harry no! Harry stop it! I forgive you! I forgive you!” She fell into a fit of giggles as Harry continued his assault. She moved this way and that, bumping into Jon a bit as she fought to get free. Overwhelmingly uncomfortable at the situation, Jon stood up and walked away, feeling the increasing need for fresh air.

 

Shoving his hands deep into his pockets, he stomped out of the office and raced down the stairs of the building until he shoved through the front doors and felt the crisp autumn air on his face. Taking a lap around the building, he stewed over his next move.

 

_What kind of half-assed apology was that? And she fucking forgave him? God, I just can’t with those two. What the hell am I doing? This whole thing is so stupid. I’m just done with this shit. Fuck it, no more waiting around for something that’s never going to happen._

 

Determined, Jon marched back inside the building and took the stairs two at a time, his tie floating over his shoulder. Bursting inside the office, he adjusted himself and saw that Harry and Sansa were no longer at his desk. In fact, they were nowhere to be seen at all.

 

_Good._

 

Never in his life had Jon ever been that smooth guy that could get any girl he wanted. He had always been the shy, broody type that just awkwardly fumbled his way into relationships. But now, Jon felt a new found confidence. He was going to get the hot girl.

 

Hands in his pockets, he entered the conference room just as she was starting to pack up her merchandise. He gave her an easy smile and held his hand out for her to take. “Hi, I’m Jon. I sit right out there. Ygritte, right?”

 

She clasped his hand in hers and held on for perhaps a moment too long. “Ygritte, yeah! And umm, I know, I’ve seen you working.”

 

“Oh really? Been spying on me, huh?” He winked at her and she giggled. He felt ridiculously out of place. Like he was making a sale. “So Ygritte, let’s talk about handbags! I want to learn everything there is to know about all of these particular models.”

 

“Ok,” she agreed.

 

“And just so you know, Ygritte, I’m not here to buy today. This is a purely educational browsing session, alright? I am a steel trap, so don’t even think about trying to sell me anything. I know all the tricks of the trade. You can’t possibly woo me. No matter how much you bat your eyelashes.”

 

She giggled and blushed, nodding at him. They walked around the room, Jon asking her all kinds of questions about herself and her merchandise. She happily gushed about it all. Turns out she was really only selling purses to help fund her real passion of teaching a girl’s archery class.

 

It didn’t take long before Jon practically had her eating out of the palm of his hand. He spent less than ten minutes alone with her in the conference room and left with the promise of drinks together that night after work.

 

Back at his desk, Jon flopped down into his chair and scrubbed his hands over his face.

 

_That was way too easy. I should be happy right now… right? Why does this feel so wrong? Fuck._

 

*******

 

Things having been resolved with Harry, Sansa felt so much lighter. She’d hated having that little tiff hanging over her head. He’d promised to take her out on a date this weekend to make up for his poor behavior. She felt like the happiest girl that her fiancé cared so much about her well-being. But there was one thing she still needed to fix.

 

Sansa had been feeling awful that she and Harry had basically pushed Jon from his own desk, so she just had to make it up to him. She quickly doodled a little picture of herself with a sad face and a caption that read ‘ _I’m sorry_ ’ on a sticky note. She bought a Twix bar from the vending machine and stuck it to the wrapper.

 

Perching herself on his desk just like earlier, she greeted him, “Hi Jon.”

 

Jon dropped his pen and leaned back in his chair. “Oh, hey Stark.”

 

“I um, I got you something,” she said shyly, handing him the candy bar with the doodle, “just to you know, say I’m sorry.”

 

“Sansa, you didn’t…” He trailed off, smiling at her work.

 

“I know, but I wanted to! I felt bad that Harry and I kind of forced you from your desk so this is my peace offering.”

 

“Well thank you for the picture and the chocolate. I will graciously accept these terms of peace. Consider us friends once again,” he joked. “Hey you want half?”

 

Sansa grinned. “I thought you’d never ask.”

 

She might have purchased the Twix bar with the hope that he would potentially offer to share with her. True to himself, Jon never disappointed.

 

“So what’ll it be then, Stark? Left or right?” He asked, tearing open the package.

 

“How am I supposed to know which one is which?”

 

Jon laughed. “You know, I actually have no idea.”

 

“Seriously though! These could be either or! You could flip the package this way or that and change the outcome of the chocolate. It’s sheer madness! How are we supposed to know which side we’re eating? They honestly need to label these things.”

 

“Take it up with Willy Wonka or whoever the hell makes this stuff.” He presented the two bars for her to choose. “So what’ll it be?”

 

Sansa crossed her arms and tapped her finger on her lips as if deep in thought. “I think I’ll take the right one. It’s obviously the superior choice.”

 

“Blasphemy,” he scoffed, letting her take her preferred half. “Everyone knows that left is the better option. But I do thank you for leaving it to me.”

 

She rolled her eyes at him and they munched on their chocolate in silence for a moment.

 

“So any big plans for the weekend, Stark?”

 

“I think Harry and I are supposed to help one of our friends move. Harry’s got a truck so… yeah. That kind of comes in handy in those situations. Oh! And he promised to take me out on a date too!”

 

Jon swallowed and nodded. “A full weekend. Nice.”

 

“Yep. What about you? Gonna hang out with Theon down by the docks?” She teased him with a smirk, taking another bite of the Twix.

 

“Tempting, but no,” he laughed. “Actually... I’m gonna see Ygritte tonight.”

 

“What?” Sansa’s smiled dropped. The chocolate in her mouth suddenly tasted like ash. She felt like she was going to be sick. It took every ounce of energy she had to swallow. “When did this happen? What are you going to do?”

 

He shrugged. “Just a little while ago. Probably going to get a drink or two and then see where the night takes us I guess.”

 

“Wow that’s… that’s great, Jon,” she said, forcing herself to smile at him, even though she felt like doing anything but.

 

“Yeah, it should be a good time.” he smiled back at her tightly almost like he felt guilty.

 

_I need to go. I need to get away from this right now._

 

“Well I should uh- I have a few more faxes to get out before I leave so I’m just going to… go.”

 

“Oh yeah, no that’s fine. Thank you for the chocolate and the little picture. I really appreciate it, Sansa.”

 

“You’re welcome, Jon. Thanks for sharing with me,” she said with a pasted on smile as she made a beeline for the safety of her desk.

 

_Thank you? Really Sansa? Yeah. Thank you for breaking my heart, Jon. I really appreciate it._

 

Once she made it behind her desk she tossed what little remained of the Twix bar into the trash can. It was tainted now. She busied herself with mindless tasks as her gut churned with disappointment.

 

_Why am I so upset by this? I should be happy for him. As far as I know, Jon never goes out on dates. This is what I wanted, right? For him to find someone and be happy? So why do I feel like shit?_

 

_Probably because of all the girls he could be going out with, it had to be Ygritte. Sansa 6.0. I didn’t even think he liked her! It’s not fair. I thought he was different. Ugh, what is it about her? Why does he like her so much? I don’t get it. Why couldn’t it have been anyone else? Someone I didn’t have to see. Someone my fiancé hadn’t drooled all over._

 

_Why am I feeling like this? I’m happy. I have a loving fiancé and Jon can be with whoever he wants. It’s not like I expect him to just wait around and be single forever. Why would he ever do that? What, do I really think he was holding out for me? Ok yes, maybe in my deepest darkest fantasies, but I would NEVER admit that to anyone. It’s just not realistic. Besides it’s just one date. They aren’t getting married or anything. It might not even work out._

 

_I need to just stop with all this. Jon doesn’t like me like that. Unlike me, he clearly doesn’t have any weird feelings for his best friend. He understands and respects boundaries. Jon has never been anything but a gentleman and here I’ve been lusting after him and apparently wanting him to be alone his entire life. I’m a horrible person. God, and I practically mounted him in the bathroom when I fixed up his lip the other week. What am I doing? What the hell is wrong with me?_

 

Sansa finished her last minute tasks quickly, gathered her things, and skipped out on her end of the day interview, not wanting to linger and potentially have to watch Jon smile and laugh with Ygritte. She fled the office and waited impatiently for the elevator. The doors opened and she scrambled inside, pounding the button for the first floor. She breathed a sigh of relief when the doors started to close, but she nearly screamed when a hand reached out to stop them. As if the universe was sending her a hate message, Jon, Ygritte, Theon, and Robert all piled inside. Sansa shifted to the back, banging the back of her head on the wall of the elevator.

 

_No no no no no no why me??????? I knew I should have just taken the stairs. Stupid stupid stupid!_

 

“Ygritte, earlier you mentioned something about possibly needing a ride home?” Robert probed. “Well I am here to inform you that I am at your service my lady. Your chariot awaits!”

 

“Or you know, I could take you home. But only if you wanted me to of course. I am a very safe driver,” Theon offered, the handbag he’d purchased earlier dangling off his arm.

 

Ygritte shuffled closer to Jon and Sansa suddenly felt queasy. “Thank you both, but Jon and I are going out for a drink after this. He can just take me home after.”

 

Robert scratched at his beard. “Oh, well I didn’t even know that drinks were on the table. Wow ok. Well umm, can I come with?”

 

“No Robert, it’s a date. We’re going out on a date,” Jon sighed.

 

“A date? But you two don’t even know each other?”

 

“Yeah well that’s kind of the point of the date, isn’t it? Getting to know each other?”

 

“God! I wouldn’t have had Satin clean out my car if I knew that,” Robert muttered before speaking louder. “Ok well I guess you two go and have fun. Don’t do anything I wouldn’t do! Which is nothing. I would do anything! HA HA!”

 

“Yeah thanks Robert,” Jon said dismissively.

 

The elevator hit the ground floor and Robert left in a hurry, grumbling to himself. To his credit, Theon had stood silently for most of the ride down. As Jon and Ygritte made to get off, he stopped them and offered his outstretched hand to Jon.

 

“I don't know how you did it, Snow. Well played. But I swear to the drowned god, if you harm one hair on this gorgeous woman’s head, I will personally geld you and everyone you hold dear.”

 

With a nod at Sansa and a kiss to Ygritte’s hand, Theon took off following Robert out the door.

 

“Wow,” was all Ygritte said, turning to look at Jon and then to Sansa. She just smiled and shrugged in return. It was just about all she could muster.

 

_I need to get the hell out of this elevator, get home, put my PJs on, and dive face-first into some ice cream._

 

“Come on, let’s get out of here,” Jon suggested, holding the doors open for both women, carrying Ygritte’s large bag with his free hand. Once they hit the parking lot, he wished her a good weekend.

 

“Thanks. You two have fun tonight,” she forced herself to say as she made her way to Harry’s truck.

 

“Oh we will,” Ygritte giggled, grabbing Jon’s arm and pulling him close to her.

 

Sansa’s heart sank at the sight, turning away to climb into the truck. She greeted her fiancé numbly and buckled her seatbelt, willing him to leave. Harry gave her a quick smile as he put the truck in reverse and pulled out of the parking space.

 

All the way out of the parking lot, she had the perfect view of Jon being the perfect gentleman. He was laughing as he opened the car door for Ygritte. She couldn’t remember the last time Harry had done that for her. He was giving her one of Sansa’s favorite smiles. The one’s he usually only reserved just for her.

 

She couldn’t help the raging jealousy she felt as she imagined what it would be like to be the one in Jon’s car. To be the one going out to drinks with him. To be the one he takes home at the end of the night. She wanted to know how it would feel to be with him on a date. How would it feel to be able to be close to him with no worries about what anyone else thought. She wanted to know more than anything.

 

Sansa allowed herself the car ride home to imagine her little fantasy date. But that was all it was - a fantasy. Not reality. And it never would be. Once Harry pulled into their driveway, she choked those thoughts and feelings back down to the dark pits of her heart.


	5. The Umbies

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> **Notes for the Chapter:**

> For those not in the know, Chili's is an American restaurant chain featuring a wide variety of food offerings.
> 
> All credit to crownuponherhead for the little photo edit. I made my own version, but she is the originator of the idea. Thanks Ciara! :)

“So,” Jon paused, grinning widely, “are you ready for the Umbies?”

 

Sansa groaned, dropping her head and banging it on her desk a few times.

 

“Hey, maybe it won’t be so bad this year. I mean, we have this nice documentary crew now,” he said with a nod to one of the cameras. “I bet Robert will really up his game. Probably more entertaining musical numbers, better jokes, maybe even some pyrotechnics. I for one am very excited.”

 

_Yeah and I’m also King of the North._

 

If there was one company event Jon loathed more than anything, it was the Umbies. Every year Robert put on an award show at the local Chili’s with the intention to celebrate his employees and to have a good time. Unfortunately, it pretty much always wound up turning into a boring disaster of epic proportions. Even though it usually provided excellent fodder to make fun of later, it simply was not worth the 3+ hour duration. This was a well known fact among the employees, but somehow Robert has never received the message.

 

“What do you think the odds are that I can get out of this tonight? Like fake an injury or something? Or like what if Harry ‘accidentally’ crashes the truck on the drive over and I'm forced to go to the emergency room? Do you think Robert would buy that? Maybe? A little bit?”

 

Ignoring the pang of jealousy in his chest at the mention of her fiancé, Jon shook his head. “No way. Robert would just move the party to the hospital. There is literally no escape from this hell. Probably not even death would release you from it. Honestly, Robert would probably just force the rest of us into a mass suicide or something so he could finish his set in the afterlife. Face it Stark, we’re screwed no matter what.”

 

Sansa whined and pouted like a little girl, making an adorably frustrated face at him. It was usually in these moments that it was difficult for Jon to remember that she wasn’t his. Not even the fact that he was technically seeing someone made much of a difference.

 

His first date with Ygritte had gone about as well as could be. She was kind and funny, but they didn’t really have a lot in common. She had dreams and ambition and Jon... didn’t. Plus there just wasn’t really any spark there. He had been attracted to her at first, but he just wasn’t really  _attracted_ to her.

 

It certainly hadn’t helped matters that whenever Jon had looked at her, he’d felt like he was betraying Sansa somehow. When he’d taken her home that night, she’d asked him if he had wanted to come inside her apartment. He’d steadfastly refused, telling her that he didn’t want to rush things. She’d been visibly disappointed, but gave him a kiss on the cheek and her phone number after he’d walked her to her door.

 

He had not planned on seeing her again after that night. But in a moment of weakness, Jon called her one evening after stumbling upon Sansa and Harry making out like teenagers in the parking lot. He had immediately gotten in his car and made the call. 15 minutes later he’d picked her up to take her to a movie. This time when he brought her back home, he did not refuse her offer. Only when it was all over had he felt the sting of guilt and shame at what he’d done. He hadn’t contacted Ygritte since.

 

“Well that just sucks then. What did we do to deserve this cruel and unusual punishment, Jon?”

 

“I don’t know, but whatever it was I hope I enjoyed it,” he joked, but Sansa’s face had turned serious.

 

“I just… Nevermind,” Sansa shook her head, stopping herself.

 

“No, what is it? Spill, Stark.”

 

She sighed heavily. “I just, I don’t want to go there and be humiliated again. You know I’ve won ‘World’s Longest Engagement’ three years running. Like, I already feel bad enough about that fact. Do I need to get a trophy to remind me about it every year we still aren't married?”

 

Sansa fiddled with her engagement ring, twirling it around her finger. Every so often the diamond would catch the light and glint in his eyes, reminding him that she would never be his.

 

“Yeah no, I get that,” Jon sympathized. “Maybe Robert has something better planned for this year? No way he could go four for four, right?”

 

“Yeah maybe. I don’t know. I doubt it,” she bemoaned, staring off into space. “Oh well. It is what it is. I should probably get back to work.”

 

Jon took the hint. “Ok yeah. Me too. I’ll just head back to my desk then.”

 

With one last look at Sansa, he turned and walked the short distance back to his desk. He sat there for a while pretending to work, but her words kept nagging him.

 

_That stupid award. No way Robert will ever change it on his own. Maybe I can do something to help._

 

Determined, Jon ducked into Robert’s office when Sansa wasn’t paying attention.

 

“Hey boss, got a second?”

 

“Of course!” Robert said, setting down the pad of paper he’d been writing on. “Just busy working on tonight’s set, but I always have time for my employees. What can I do for you, Jon Bon Snowvi?”

 

Jon grimaced at the nickname. “Well I was hoping that we could discuss one of the Umbie awards.”

 

“You know I don’t take Umbie requests, Jon. I swear after what Margaery tried to pull two years ago...”

 

“Yeah I know that, but I was hoping that maybe you could make a special case this year and change Sansa’s award.”

 

“What? I’m not changing that. It’s the funniest one by far! And every year that they don’t get married it gets even funnier.”

 

“Does it though?” Jon opined. “I mean, world’s longest engagement... I think we’re all expecting it. And reusing that joke so many times just kind of comes off as lazy. Almost like you can’t come up with anything better. And we both know that’s not true.”

 

_Take the bait, Robert. Come on..._

 

Leaning back in his chair, Robert stroked his beard. “Lazy, huh? Is that what the people are saying out there? Hmmm, I thank you for bringing this to my attention, Jon. I shall consider it.”

 

The phone rang unexpectedly. “Ah that’ll be Cersei returning my call. You may go now.”

 

“Ok, thanks Robert.”

 

His boss waved him off as he answered the phone. Jon closed the door behind him and glanced at Sansa as he walked back to his desk. She didn’t look up from her computer. He hated to see her in this state of dread.

 

_Come on, Robert. Please don’t let me down tonight._

 

*******

 

Claustrophobic. That was how it felt to be sandwiched between Harry and Tormund in her fiancé’s much too small truck. She had briefly considered trying to get a ride from someone else, but decided that doing so would reflect poorly on their relationship and Sansa did not want that. Crammed in the middle of the bench seat with Tormund’s leg constantly bumping against her own, Sansa wished that they owned something bigger. Maybe something like an SUV. Or at least something with a back seat that could carry more than two passengers comfortably.

 

_We really should think about upgrading. We’ll need the space for whenever we start having kids. Although I suppose I would rather we were married first, but who knows when that will ever happen..._

 

Sansa had brought up the issue of their lack of a wedding date for the umpteenth time the night before. Harry had brushed it off, telling her that they didn’t have the money at the moment and that it just wasn’t the right time. It was the same old story she had heard over and over.

 

_Well when is the right time then? We’ve been engaged for four fucking years Harry. This is getting beyond ridiculous. It’s almost like he doesn’t want to marry me or something. We don’t have to have a big wedding, I just want to be married and be done with this waiting. Then we can finally start our lives._

 

She still felt raw from their talk the night before. She was unhappy with their arrangement, but Harry didn’t seem to understand that. He appeared to have no problem living their lives in this never ending purgatory of engagement. But of course, in classic Sansa fashion, she didn’t push him at all. She kept most of her words to herself. She hated rocking the boat and had already said more than she she normally did in these situations.

 

After their fight, she’d fallen asleep in bed as far away from Harry’s snoring body as she could get. She’d had the most wonderful dream though, seeing herself singing a little girl to sleep in her grandmother’s old rocking chair. A gorgeous little thing with big blue eyes and raven curls. Sansa woke up with a smile on her face that lasted all the way to work until she came face to face with the man that had that same hair from her dream. She didn’t want to think about what that dream might have meant.

 

Thankfully, just when she thought she was about to explode, the truck pulled into the Chili’s parking lot. Sansa practically pushed Tormund out the door, much to his amusement. Meeting up with a few other office workers, they all filed into the restaurant and made their way to the back where the rest of their party was gathering. Robert and Theon were busy fiddling with sound equipment. Jon was taking his jacket off and draping it over a chair while chatting with Satin.

 

Sansa wanted to join him. How often did she get to spend time with her best friend outside of the office? Basically never. But she knew she couldn’t just leave her fiancé. It wouldn’t be proper. Harry and Tormund sat at an adjacent table and Sansa dutifully followed. Jon gave her a little wave and a smile that made her heart beat faster.

 

_God I could use a drink right now._

 

However, assuming that Harry and Tormund might potentially go overboard on the free drinks, Sansa had promised to remain sober and be the designated driver. It was going to take all of her strength to sit through this event and not touch a drop of alcohol. Sansa sipped on her soda and stared longingly at the glasses of beer and mixed drinks that everyone else was being served.

 

Music started playing over the speaker system and Robert bounded out of nowhere in a bright mustard yellow tracksuit with dark sunglasses and a big gold chain around his neck. Locking eyes with Jon, Sansa watched in horror as her boss began to rap made up lyrics about selling paper over the classic Salt-N-Pepa song, “Shoop.”

 

 

> _Here I go, here I go, here I go again_
> 
> _Girls, what's my weakness? (PAPER!)_
> 
> _Ok then, chillin', chillin'_
> 
> _Mindin' my business_
> 
> _Yo, Theon, I looked around, and I couldn't believe this_
> 
> _I swear, I stared, my coworker my witness_
> 
> _The client had it goin' on with somethin' kinda, uh_
> 
> _Wicked, wicked (ooh) had to kick it_
> 
> _I'm not shy so I asked for his sales needs_
> 
> _A ho? No, that don't make me_
> 
> _See what I want slip slide to accounting_
> 
> _Felt it in my hips so I dipped back to my bag of tricks_
> 
> _Then I called for a tip, make me wanna give a discount to him_
> 
> _Treat him like a customer ought to be treated_
> 
> _Came to my senses and I chilled for a bit_
> 
> _Talked to my boss and he told me I couldn’t quit_
> 
> _So well it's a spell, hell, makes me wanna sell sell sell_

 

After the verse ended, Robert tossed his microphone to Theon, got down on the floor, and started to undulate his body in what Sansa assumed was supposed to be a form of breakdancing. It was not a pretty sight. After his attempt to spin on his head wound up knocking over a table, Robert struggled to get upright. Once he did, he unzipped his track jacket to reveal a tuxedo underneath. Then he grabbed the waist of his track pants and tore them away from his body, throwing them right at Melisandre's head. Taking the mic back from Theon, Robert greeted the small audience.

 

“Aright everyone, welcome to the 6th annual Umbie awards ceremony where the awards are made up and your jobs don’t matter. HA! Just kidding of course. Everyone’s job is very important. Except for Rhaegar’s. Human Resources? More like Human Garbage, amirite?”

 

Out of everyone, only Theon laughed. Rhaegar just frowned deeper and shook his head.

 

“Ok, wow tough room. Well then let’s get this show on the road! That ought to liven up the room a bit!” Robert rummaged around inside the large box behind him until he pulled out a shiny gold-colored plastic trophy. “Ok the first award goes out to someone who is always super eager to work. The Busiest Beaver award is for Walda Frey! Come on down, Walda!”

 

Walda stood up and made her way to the front with a big smile that quickly dropped when she looked at the engraving on the trophy.

 

“Robert this says Bushiest Beaver…”

 

His eyes bugged out of his head in surprise and he craned his neck over to confirm. “Seven hells I told them busiest beaver! Ok, we’ll get that fixed.”

 

“No it’s fine.” She mumbled, dejectedly walking back to her table.

 

“Just a simple mistake. Easily remedied. You don’t have to display that! Ok, Theon give me another. God, how did I miss that one?”

 

Theon reached into the box and handed Robert another Umbie just as a waitress served Thoros a giant margarita.

 

“Just put this on the group tab, love. Thanks.”

 

Robert intervened, holding his hands up. “Oh no no no, wait! Sorry guys, I forgot to mention this earlier, but there will be no group tab this year.”

 

A chorus of questions raised from the audience. Harry and Tormund looked at each other concerned.

 

“What are you talking about, Robert?” Oberyn asked. “The company pays for this every year.”

 

“I am very aware of that fact and if it was up to me it would remain that way. But Cersei called me this morning and due to all the budget cuts, the company refuses to pay any expenses on our little shindig. So it’s separate checks for everyone tonight.”

 

“You could have told us that before we brought our families,” Stannis seethed, holding his wife’s hand tightly.

 

As Robert and his brother argued back and forth, Harry and Tormund took their last drinks and left some cash on the table.

 

“Come on Sansy, we’re going.”

 

Sansa started to protest, but Harry was already making tracks toward the door.

 

“Hey guys, where are you going? The party’s just getting started! I’ll pay for a few appetizers,” Robert offered weakly.

 

Shooting a sad look at Jon, Sansa attempted to apologize to her boss as she grabbed her coat and purse to follow Tormund and her fiancé out of the restaurant. She felt all eyes on her as she made her walk of shame.

 

Stepping outside, the cool air did little to soothe the burn she felt on her cheeks. She was angry and embarrassed. So much had been weighing her down recently and now this was the last straw. Harry was going to get a piece of her mind.

 

“Get in the truck, babe,” he told her as she marched over to where he was standing.

 

“No. What the hell was that, Harry? You’re just going to leave?”

 

“Hey I’m not paying higher prices for beer here when we could get the same amount for half that at Poor Rickard’s.”

 

“So that’s it then? It’s all about the beer. You can’t even stay to have a good time with your coworkers?”

 

“First of all, they’re not my coworkers. And don’t act all high and mighty either. You always complain about having to go to this. You never have a good time. It’s the same damn thing every year. Let’s just go and forget about it.”

 

He grabbed her arm to pull her towards the truck but she struggled against him until he let go.

 

“No, I’m not going! I don’t want to! These _are_ my coworkers and if I want to have a good time with them, then I will. If you would have asked me that then you would know.”

 

“Sansa! Come on, babe!” He pleaded with her while Tormund looked awkwardly at his shoes.

 

“No, I'm staying. Goodbye, Harry.”

 

She stormed back inside the restaurant, trying to temper her anger down. She needed that drink now more than ever. Seeing that Jon was currently sitting alone and munching on chips and salsa, she made a beeline to his table. His entire face lit up when he saw her.

 

“Hey! I thought you’d left. Where’s Harry?”

 

Taking off her coat, she waved her hand dismissively and sat down opposite him. “I’ll just get a ride home with Jeyne or something.”

 

Batting her eyelashes at him, Sansa slyly wrapped her fingers around his frosty mug of beer and pulled it over to her side of the table. He gave her an amused look, tortilla chip halfway to his mouth, salsa slopping on the table.

 

“Thanks so much for this, Jon. How did you know this is just what I needed?”

 

“Well I’m obviously psychic, Stark.”

 

_Yes. Please keep calling me Stark. I don’t want to be a Hardyng anytime soon._

 

Sansa took a large gulp from the glass as Robert handed out the award for Oldest In The Office to Davos. The bitter taste of the beer on her tongue was a fantastic start to washing away the anger, stress, and guilt she felt.

 

*******

 

Jon stared in wonder at the giggling woman across from him. Drunk Sansa was absolute gold, hiccuping every five seconds and smiling like a fool. She’d polished off his beer in record time and had ordered a big daiquiri not long after. She’d also finished half of Hodor’s piña colada, and had a sip or twelve from Oberyn’s appletini. Jon had tried to tell her not to go overboard, but she was seemingly on a mission to get wasted. At least he’d been able to convince her to eat half of the Awesome Blossom he’d ordered as well as some of the fajitas. Still though… she was trashed.

 

Sansa’s face flushed a pretty pink as she slurped endlessly on her straw. He bit back a groan at the sight of her lips and tongue working in tandem to get the last drop from the bottom of her latest glass.

 

_What I wouldn’t give to be that straw… Fuck. Get a grip, Snow, you damn pervert._

 

Jon swallowed and shook his head. “I uh, think it’s all gone, Stark.”

 

“No because the ice melts and then it’s like second drink!”

 

“Second drink?” He laughed and she joined in.

 

_She is so damn cute. It’s just not fair._

 

Despite the fact that he couldn’t take his eyes off her, he still wanted to know exactly why she was acting this way. This was not the Sansa he knew. Something must have happened outside with Harry to make her come back inside and hit the bottle this hard. Up until this night, he had barely seen Sansa take so much as a sip of alcohol. Now at the rate she was going, she could potentially give Thoros a run for his Biggest Party Animal Umbie.

 

_Maybe I should try to talk to her. She has to be upset about something. Why else would she be drinking so much? But then, if she wanted to talk about it, she probably would have just talked about it herself. If she doesn’t want to talk, that’s fine. I can be whatever she needs me to be. She’s drunk. I’ll just make sure she’s safe. Probably need to cut her off soon because holy shit._

 

Coming out of his thoughts, Sansa had stopped giggling and was staring at him very seriously. Her eyes danced around his face, scrutinizing every detail and making him feel uncomfortable in his own skin. She leaned her body forward and reached out to card her fingers into his hair, stroking it softly. He shivered under her touch.

 

“You know what? Robert’s right,” she started, wrapping a curl around one finger. “You do have the best hair in the office.”

 

Jon chuckled, eyeing the plastic trophy sitting on the table beside him. “I’m just glad that somebody finally took notice of all the hard work I put into this flowing mane.”

 

Still leaning forward, Sansa released his lock of hair and rested her chin on her hand. “What are you talking about? I always notice you, Jon. Not a day goes by that I don’t.”

 

Jon sat in silence, unsure of what to say.

 

“You sit there everyday in the office with your hair and your beard and your lips and your pants-”

 

“My pants?”

 

Licking her lips, she grinned at him. “Yeah your pants! They’re nice. And everything else too! You’re so handsome, Jon. I’d love to draw you. I mean, I have drawn you… a few times actually, but I mean like really REALLY draw you. Like you pose for me. Like a model. You’d be a good model, I think. Way better looking than anyone else I’ve ever drawn. That’s for damn sure. Oh listen, Jon! Another song! YAAASSSS!”

 

Sansa clapped her hands and turned excitedly to watch as Robert sang altered lyrics to Elton John’s “Tiny Dancer.” Jon couldn’t concentrate on the song though, his mind was too busy melting down.

 

_What the fuck?!?!?!!? Does Sansa like me? Like, like me like me? Or is she just drunk as a skunk? Ok yes she is very drunk, but still! She said I was handsome. She said she’s already drawn me. When? And that she wanted to REALLY draw me. Like a model? Like a nude model? I mean, I guess I could be ok with that. As long as she was naked too. That’s where I draw the line. Oh god, naked Sansa. Ok nope, cannot think about that right now. She’s drunk and you’re an idiot. GET. A. FUCKING. GRIP. SNOW._

 

Jon forced himself to tear his eyes away from her and watch the show. Robert finished his song to enthusiastic applause from Sansa. After wiping the sweat from his brow, he started giving away Umbies like hot cakes. Oberyn took home the Spicy Pepper Umbie. Jeyne, the Tight Ass Umbie. Satin, the Hottest In The Office Umbie (much to Margaery’s chagrin). And Rhaegar was gifted the Worst Person Ever Umbie (which Robert exaggeratingly threw directly into the garbage for Rhaegar to fish out).

 

With every new trophy given out, Jon got more and more anxious for Sansa’s turn. He had no idea if Robert was going to come through for him or not. And now, with Sansa in her current alcohol-altered state, things had the potential to go ballistic if Robert was to bring out the World’s Longest Engagement Umbie.

 

“Alright here we go!” Robert started. “Hey anybody else remember that time we had that fire drill a few months ago and Hodor held the door for everyone? I know I will certainly never forget, so that’s why Hodor wins the Umbie for Best Door Holder! Give it up for him!”

 

Sansa appeared close to tears as she clapped and screamed for the large accountant.

 

“I remember that! He held that door so damn good,” she murmured in a watery voice.

 

_Ok yeah, she’s had way too much to drink. Check please!_

 

Robert grabbed another trophy out of the box. He read the engraving and smiled to himself. Jon held his breath as Robert started speaking.

 

“Ok this next award is going out to our own little Sansa Stark. I think we all know which Umbie she’s getting this year.” He paused for dramatic effect. Sansa had a white knuckle grip on the edge of the table. “It’s the Whitest Sneakers award because she always has the whitest tennis shoes on! COME ON DOWN! Sansa Stark everybody!”

 

Sansa’s face like up like a Christmas tree, her jaw hanging down in shock. She slowly slid off her chair and bounced down to the front. Robert handed her the trophy, but she grabbed the microphone from him as well. Swaying a bit on her feet, she launched into an impromptu speech.

 

“I have so many people to thank for this award! Well first of all my Keds because I couldn’t have done it without them!” She kicked her left foot out for emphasis to show off her blindingly white shoe. “I also need to thank my parents. Eddard and Catelyn Stark have been the biggest influence I’ve ever been acquainted to meet with in my life.”

 

At that moment, Jon wouldn’t have been able to stop himself from looking into the camera if he’d been threatened with death from above.

 

“And then also a big thank you to Robert and Theon because it’s not easy doing all this stuff that they do up here. Putting on a show is hard guys. Like seriously. And finally I want to thank God because God gave me this Umbie,” she said in genuine awe, looking down at her trophy fondly. “And I feel God in this Chili’s tonight.”

 

_This fucking dork..._

 

Sanda ended her speech with a victory screech before handing the microphone back to Robert and giving him a kiss on the cheek. She came skipping back to her seat looking everything like the happiest person in the world. Jon stood to pull her chair out for her, figuring it was the least he could do.

 

“Your seat, my lady,” he joked.

 

She ignored the offered chair and instead jumped into him, catching Jon off guard and knocking him backwards slightly. She wrapped her arms around his neck and squeezed him tight. Jon hugged her back, savoring the feeling of her warm body crushed against his. Feeling her grip loosen, he immediately let go. Sansa pulled back, grabbed his neck, and dragged his face to hers for a kiss.

 

Unable to register what was happening, he barely had time to react to the soft full lips pressed against his own. But he instinctively pressed forward, giving her everything he had to offer until she disconnected and turned to flop into her seat, sighing contentedly. Jon was left standing like an idiot, mind racing a mile a minute, trying to keep his face from revealing that he had just experienced the best moment of his life.

 

_Holy fucking shit, she kissed me. SHE FUCKING KISSED ME! Oh my god, but she’s so drunk. And engaged. It’s so wrong. I should feel terrible. But SHE. KISSED. ME. I am so fucked. I am so fucking fucked. What the hell am I supposed to do now?_

 

Realizing he had been standing too long, Jon quickly sat back down across from her. She gave him a shy smile and he thought his heart might stop. He wanted to go outside to see if the stars had fallen from the sky because surely this was a world ending event.

 

Jon signaled his waitress for the check, paying for both Sansa and himself. After signing the bill he spent the rest of the time in a fog, unable to get his brain to properly work past that kiss. At some point, while trying to get his attention, Sansa had leaned so far backward in her chair that she completely toppled over onto her back.

 

That snapped him out of his trance.

 

“Oh my god, Sansa,” Jon jumped up, concerned, but she was too busy laughing hysterically to care about her own well-being. He searched out a cameraman and laughed with her. “Please tell me you got that. God, you are so drunk!”

 

Theon must have witnessed her fall as well, for he ran over to help, tugging his shirt off along the way while barking orders.

 

“Somebody get this woman an ice pack! Here, use my shirt as a pillow! Jon start compressions, I’ll do mouth to mouth!”

 

Sansa was laughing so hard, tears streamed down her cheeks.

 

“This is THE BEST. UMBIES. EVER!” she shouted into the camera.

 

“Yep, best Umbies ever,” Jon repeated as he tried to stop Theon from finding a defibrillator.

 

*******

 

Sansa sat outside on the bench with Jon, waiting for Jeyne to come by with her car. She was still feeling the effects from the alcohol, but the cool air seeping through her skin was helping loads to sober her up. All of the giddiness from earlier was wearing away. Now she was feeling a churning in her gut and a splitting pain in her skull. And it wasn’t all from the alcohol or the fall.

 

Inside she was warring with herself about that kiss. Half of her couldn’t believe she’d done it. And the other half couldn’t believe it had taken her so long.

 

Jon sat silently next to her. She wanted nothing more than to melt into his side and have him keep her warm. But she knew she couldn’t do that. If push came to shove, she could blame the kiss on the alcohol, anything further would be a step too far. So instead she sat awkwardly, keeping a decent amount of space between them as she wondered just what exactly was going on inside his head.

 

She turned toward him and he did the same, looking at her through long lashes. She opened her mouth to speak, but his face slowly became illuminated by headlights. Jon’s gaze flicked up and he stood, holding his hand out for her to take as Jeyne pulled her car up beside them.

 

She gladly let his warm hand envelope hers to help pull her up on her feet. She stumbled a bit as she moved, but Jon was there to steady her. With one hand on her back he led her around to the other side of Jeyne’s car, but before she could make it to the door, Sansa stopped in her tracks.

 

Jon turned towards her curiously. “Sansa?”

 

“Hey umm, can I ask you a question?”

 

He took a step closer to her and smiled. “Shoot.”

 

Sansa wracked her brain as Jon watched her expectantly. She had so many questions she wanted answers to, but could she ever ask them?

 

_Did you get me this Umbie? Do you like me? Can I kiss you again? Would you ever go out with me if I wasn’t with Harry? Could you take me home instead?_

 

Steeling her nerves, her question was on the tip of her tongue when, out of the corner of her eye, she noticed a camera trained on them. She turned to see it fully and witnessed Jeyne tapping her steering wheel, looking impatient. Her moment had passed.

 

“I umm, I just wanted to say thanks.”

 

“Not really a question,” Jon smirked, exhaling a puff of air through his nose. “Come on, let’s get you home.”

 

With his hand on the small of her back, he guided her to the passenger side. Opening the door for her, Jon gave her a soft smile as she slipped inside.

 

“Drink lots of water, Sansa. Thank you, Jeyne. Good night."

 

Jeyne drove off, lecturing her on the dangers of drinking. Sansa tuned her out and glanced behind her through the back window to see Jon still rooted to the same spot in the parking lot, watching them drive away. She touched her lips and smiled, wanting to burn the feeling of Jon’s kiss directly into her memory.

 

But when she awoke the next morning, she remembered next to nothing, her hangover in full effect. In her mind she saw brief flashes of events. Winning her Umbie. Shirtless Theon. Hugging Jon. Robert breakdancing. Yelling at Harry. Laughing uncontrollably. But everything was in bits and pieces.

 

She and Harry were able to smooth things over before work. But once she got to the office, Sansa cornered Jon in the break room and asked him what the hell had happened the night before, telling him that she couldn’t remember anything.

 

His brows knit together and he swallowed. “Really? You don’t remember... anything? Nothing at all?”

 

“I mean I sort of do, but it’s all fuzzy. Why? Did I do something like totally embarrassing and unforgivable?”

 

Jon touched his lips for a moment and sighed heavily before taking a sip of his coffee. “Nope. You were fine, Stark. A perfectly respectable drunk.”

 

She laughed and smacked his arm. “Ok fine, but I want to hear more at lunch though, ok?”

 

“Anything for you,” he smiled as she left him behind in the break room.

 

All the way back to her desk, Sansa had the strangest tingling sensation in her lips. 


End file.
